Dreams Deferred
by Aoikami Sarah
Summary: Seven people from different walks of life find themselves sailing for the same cause, avenging wrongs done to them and trying to find a purpose. Pirates, Nobles, CP9, Fishmen, Revolutionaries, and how fate brings them together.
1. Chapter 1 Hiruma Esuke

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Chapter One: Hiruma Esuke**

It was a raw, grey Thursday afternoon when the sisters brought a slight, heavily bandaged young woman in to the ward in which, until late, I had been the only patient. The sisters spoke to each other in hushed tones. I could catch only snippets of words like 'long time', 'such wounds' and 'pray for her'. Much to my dismay she lay quite motionless for several days. The sisters, many of whom had taken vows of silence, did not make for good company. Not that I was looking for bubbling conversation at this point. Three months of virtual silence and immobility had made a profound change in my outlook to the point that having a chat with another person was not high on my list of priorities. That being said, what I yearned for was someone with whom I could share my secret progress. I hoped against hope that when this young woman awoke, I could do just that.

When she first came around I watched and waited. It was clear that she was in a great deal of pain and the sisters fluttered around her like doves with their ministrations, a flurry of salves and bandages. Through it all, not once did she cry out, only hissed through clenched teeth and gave the occasional low moan if made to move.

In the afternoon of the day she awoke, after the sisters had gone off to roost, I heard a long, drawn-out sigh and dared open my eyes to peer at her. She lay in a bed identical to the other nine beds in the ward. Sunlight streamed in through tall, southern windows across the aisle at our feet. She stared, half-lidded at the leafy trees whose branches swayed in the breeze just outside, leaves brushing against the third-story panes, dappling the light. I sighed as well, not in fond remembrance of any sort of nostalgic feelings, but to gently alert her to my conscious presence. Her head rolled to the left and she cast a glace in my direction.

"Good afternoon," I said quietly.

Her head rolled back and she stared at the pressed-tin ceiling. "I guess," she said.

"I'm called Hiruma Esuke," I offered.

Another quiet sigh. "Ghani Maho."

"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Maho-san." That was important, I thought, to be introduced. But I could tell she did not care for conversation at the present time. Rather than push the issue, I smiled and looked back at the same said ceiling. It had been three months, I could wait a few more hours.

After the sun went down and we had been fed, as per usual in total silence, the young woman rolled her head back over in my direction. "Na, Hiruma?" she whispered.

"Yes?" I replied, raising my eyebrows.

"What sortta place is this?"

I explained that we were patients in the Thousand Hands Holy Mountain Sanctuary for Indigent Invalids. Our lonely wing with its ten beds was reserved for cases requiring constant care. This time it took only a few moments for her to ask another question. I didn't appear to have any bandages to change, so what was the matter with me that I needed constant care? I wasn't surprised to find her go silent for a long while after I said very simply that I was paralyzed from the neck down.

"Sorry," she said a good five minutes later. "Felt kind of like a jerk for a second there. Thought_ I _had it bad."

"It's not as bad as that," I said, positively. "I've been working on it. I should be able to walk again soon. I'm just a little afraid to practice here as the sisters will think it's the doing of their goddess and I'll never hear the end of it."

Maho-san cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. "_Really_," she said, sarcastically.

"Well…" I grinned. As I did so I wished the sisters hadn't trimmed my mustache so close. I don't have the best teeth and imagined they showed a bit with my prideful smile. "I can do this," I said and slowly lifted my right arm to about 45 degrees. My fingers trembled with the effort but I managed to lower it just as calmly. I then rolled my head to the right and looked directly on my roommate for the first time.

Her eyes were brown as was her long hair that the sisters had thoughtfully braided before dinner. Her skin tone was of a darker shade than my own fair complexion. She arched her eyebrows in astonishment. "How did you do that?"

"Don't tell anyone, please, but I'm one of those poor cursed fellows."

She paused before laughing quietly and briefly before the pain inhibited her mirth.

"Maho-san, may I ask why you find that humorous?"

She took a few deep breaths to help dispel her pain before answering, "Sorry. Not as uncommon as you think. Which one do you have?"

"Ito-Ito no Mi, the string-string fruit," I answered. "I've had a few months to think about my condition. I was angry at first that I couldn't use my ability to help myself in any way, but I was only thinking about my outside. Three months with nothing to do gave me ample time to contemplate my _insides_. I decided that if my nerves were cut off from my brain by the bullet in my back, perhaps I could by-pass the injury with tiny strings _inside _my body. I think that I am ready to try to walk, but that I need practice."

To my relief she nodded, completely unfazed by the idea that I was an Akuma-no-Mi user. "That's pretty impressive. You should practice, but yeah, the nuns would freak out." Maho-san folded her hands over her belly and rubbed her thumbs together. "I gotta get outta here."

"Come again?"

"Can't sit around in bed. I'm losing muscle mass every day spent lying around. I'll be able to walk tomorrow. Can't imagine that they'll want to keep me long when they see I'm healed up already." She took a deep, slow breath and sat up. "Damn it. How long was I out, do you know?"

"Three days that I am aware of."

Maho-san grimaced. "_Damn_ it." Her movements were deliberate as she pushed the covers aside, swung her legs around to the left and stood up. We both wore hospital gowns of pale blue with frog-closures at the left shoulder. She stretched and bent and I looked away as she unashamedly examined the surgeon's stitch-work that crisscrossed her right leg, hip, and side. "_Damn it_," she hissed again. Her body was as I said before, slight, but well toned and as she tested out her condition I imagined that her wounds were the result of a fight she got herself into, not one in which she was a helpless victim.

"You really plan to leave tomorrow?" I asked quietly.  
She pumped her fists at an invisible opponent. "Think so, yeah."

"Maho-san, could I come with you?" The fists stopped and she made a face at me. "I know I don't seem like much, but before my accident I was formidable," I lied. "And as you say, I need to practice. I want to get out of here, but I believe I need just a little help to get started."

Another slow breath. She closed her eyes briefly then slowly got back into bed. "Tell you what, I'll sleep on it." In moments, she was fast asleep and I was more energized than I had been in months with the hope that my road to recovery could begin with the sunrise.

.x.

In the morning I enjoyed what would be my final sponge bath administered by one of the more robust of the sisters by the name of Sister Mary Zojirushi. I would _not_ miss it. Maho-san indicated that she would take two more meals before making her decision so it was not until after lunch that at last she got to her feet. She stretched a few times and looked to the doorway, listening intently for anyone who might be coming. She held up a finger - 'Wait one second' it seemed to say - and stepped lightly to the door. Like a ghost, she was gone. I watched that doorway intently for several minutes, never once doubting that finger. When she returned she was grinning a small, devious grin and gave me a small thumbs-up as she approached. "We're all set. You ready?"

I blinked at her in disbelief. "I am, but..."

Before she could answer the sisters bustled in with a wheelchair. The curtain was drawn around my bed as they dressed me quickly and efficiently in what were surely donated clothes: a pair of brown slacks, brown shoes and an ugly brown sweater with a tight collar. They situated me in my chair. As this was the first time I had been in a seated position in three months, my head swooned a bit. Maho-san was all smiles and graciousness as she thanked the sisters, vowing to repay them for their kindness as she wheeled me to the elevator and out into the sunshine.

It was then that I learned I was not allowed to keep the wheelchair. In order to secure my release, Maho-san had apparently stolen a wooden wheelbarrow she claimed was hers. As carefully as they could do without seeming rude, the sisters hefted me into the wheelbarrow. My arms were folded across my chest and my legs dangled uselessly over the front edge of the thing. Too glad to be on my way, I didn't mind the undignified manor in which I was transported. Maho-san gripped the handles and off we trundled out of town.

Once past the buildings of the city proper I asked her to stop and take a rest which she did, gladly. She sat on a rise on the side of the road so that our eyes could meet. I thanked her profusely, but she simply held up a hand. "It's nothing. Please don't," she insisted as she unbraided her hair, retying it loosely below her shoulders. At this point I admit I did become a little nervous. Here I was, paralyzed, stuck in a wheelbarrow in the middle of nowhere and in the company of a young woman who I knew next to nothing about. Would she choose this moment to part ways, leaving me to my own devices? "I know it's weird," she muttered, talking into her hands as she rubbed her face and looked to the dense forest that loomed just ahead of us. "I guess I just didn't want to be by myself. I've never really done that before. Been alone."

I tried very hard not to sigh in relief. "You will find, Maho-san, that I will not go anywhere without you."

Her eyes moved over to me and for a brief moment I was afraid my new companion might be humorless, but her lids closed and she let a chuckle escape through her hands. "Sounds good." She rocked to her feet and frowned at me. "This wheelbarrow idea just isn't cutting it though." I was about to suggest that I could attempt my first steps when she raised her right arm made a motion as if conducting an orchestra with her left. The wheelbarrow below me groaned and creaked. I could not have been more surprised if my senses returned to me and I could have felt what was happening as the wheelbarrow changed shape and became a sort of cup-shaped chair. "Hang tight. I'm going to make a cart or something," she said and turned to the trees behind her. Again, she conducted, and the branches and trunk of a large deciduous tree danced and contorted. In moments, wheels and axles, a seat and handles formed and came together in front of her in the shape of a sort of rickshaw. "And a little something for me," she added and the leftovers spun around her arms, legs and neck, forming a set of bangles that she clicked together with a look of satisfaction.

She turned her attention back to me. "I think this'll work better. At least until I start to hate it. Now, to get you in the thing." The chair lifted up and moved toward the nearby rickshaw, propelled by a wooden pillar created by the chair itself as it morphed again. Maho-san stepped up and helped me into the seat, strapping me in with a cloth belt that clicked closed across my chest.

"My," I remarked. "And I thought _I_ was special!"

She smiled sheepishly. "Nothing, really. Just had mine for longer, probably."

"Mine…? An Akuma-no-Mi!"

She nodded, not meeting my eyes. "Mori-mori no Mi, forest-forest fruit." She hopped down gracefully and positioned herself between the two handles with her back to me. "Sun's not going to wait all day. We gotta hit the road."

"Of course..." I said dreamily, still marveling over this woman's ability. "That is, thank you!" At the time, I almost believed that Maho-san was ashamed of her powers, such was her extreme modesty. Her level of skill and craftsmanship was extraordinary, from the construction of the rickshaw to the detail of the little clasp that held my safety belt together.

Maho-san shrugged and lifted the handles. "Oh yeah, that's better," she affirmed and we set off into the woods that would become our home.

.x.

Deep in the wood we set up camp and with Maho-san's ability were able to make a small, three-room shack to keep the rain off of our heads. She told me that first night that there was a certain technique she wished to master and that this spot would do as well as any other as a training ground. She added that she could hunt and gather and help me become mobile again in the process. In exchange, I could keep her company. I wondered why she was willing to trust a total stranger.

"I know you," she answered simply. "You're Hiruma."

I worked day and night, sending the thinnest and most durable of strings, akin to wires, through my body, trying different patterns and paths. The direct line from my brain to the broken spot on my spine worked well, but in order to become truly dexterous in the broadest sense of the word I found that running the wires to the very tips of my fingers and toes worked best, especially for returning my sense of touch. However, this took a great deal of energy and in the beginning even a few steps would wipe me out. The first steps were magical. To be able to stand on my own feet by my own power again only made me want to do more. Within a few months I had no problem walking, but the fatigue would be an issue for a long time to come.

Meanwhile, Maho-san trained. She practiced a very intense sort of martial art and would leave the camp site for hours to go to a clearing about a half-mile in the distance in order to have enough space in which to work out. Where my progress was fast and improving exponentially every day, she would often return unhappy, having not gained an inch in her own efforts. After particularly bad days she would disappear for much longer periods of time, which left me very nervous. We had had a bear investigate our camp one evening and the idea that I would try to fend one off myself made me quite ill. I longed for a gun, but we had no money to buy one.

It was on one of these long days alone that I had an epiphany and developed another useful aspect of my Akuma-no-Mi ability. Simply playing around with these wire-type strings, I sent a number of them from my fingertips snaking out through the surrounding trees. As they wound through the underbrush in the quiet of the early evening I noticed that I could hear a rustling sound coming from nearby. Thinking our friend the bear had returned, I stopped my movements, but as they stopped, the sound stopped. Quickly, I dropped all but one of the strings and sent it higher up into a tree. On a branch some thirty feet off the ground a small bird was chirping to its mate and as the string got closer, the chirp grew louder.

A long while after nightfall when Maho-san returned I was hesitant to relay the amazing news as she was dark and brooding over her day's failure again. But she did ask how my day was, so I obliged by telling her that I could use my strings to listen in on things at a distance. To my surprise she was excited by the news. "Hiruma, you gotta try that on me tomorrow," she said as she chewed a bit of venison.

"_On_ you?"

"Wire me up and see how far you can hear before it cuts off. _My_ range is about 200 feet without touching. Touching I can do about 750. I'm trying to get it up to 1000."

I pouted. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

She put her meat down on her wooden plate. "Ok, see, I can morph anything wooden, flaxen, cotton, vegetable matter, right? I can do it about 200 feet away without even touching it," she said and demonstrated on a distant branch, changing it first to a flag, then to confetti which drifted like snow to the ground. "But if I'm on the deck of a ship, say 1000 feet long, I can morph stuff about 750 feet away as long as it's all connected. We'll see tomorrow how far you can reach. This is neat. This way you can call me if you need me, maybe." Maho-san resumed her dinner.

It was hard to sleep that night, thinking about all the exciting new things I could try when the sun came up.

.x.

We lived that way, like hermits from some folk tale, for about two years. Maho-san trained in her clearing, alone. Only once did she ask me why I had never wanted to observe her practice. I smiled and said that if it made her feel comfortable, she would have trained in front of me. One evening a few weeks before our departure from the wood, she ran back toward the camp wearing a grin from ear to ear. "I did it, Hiruma! She shouted. "I mastered the seventh skill, I can do it!" She never explained what that meant, didn't showed me what it looked like and I never asked. I would not see this skill in action for another three years.

Maho-san was then a very private person. I knew not where she came from, how she came to be so skilled in using her Akuma-no-Mi ability, nor how it was that she found herself in the Thousand Hands hospital. When she was brought in, I had asked one of the sisters where Maho-san had come from, but all they would say was that she had been found on the streets, near death.

Often, I would start a conversation with Maho-san and see where it went, but I never felt that I could ask her a direct question. I knew she would not answer, and it would only make for a tense atmosphere in which to share a space. Instead, I would say something like "when the sisters found _me_, I had been abandoned on the pier and left to die," to see if she would ask me about myself and then perhaps volunteer some information about herself, but this rarely lead to anything illuminating. Rather, we came to an understanding of each other in the present tense. Hiruma Esuke and Ghani Maho, two recovering invalids with dark and mysterious pasts that as time passed, meant less and less to either of them, or so I thought at the time.

I hadn't conjured the story about being left on the pier for dead out of thin air, hoping to inspire sympathy or some sort of reciprocal reaction from my companion, it was the truth. Only three months before Maho-san appeared in the bed next to mine at the Thousand Hands Holy Mountain Sanctuary for Indigent Invalids, I was found by the sisters as they were out shopping one morning for the catch of the day. A fishmonger pointed out my plight to them and I was saved perhaps moments before being flung into the sea by irritated fishermen whose dock my inanimate form was blocking.

Previous to this, I had been a pirate, and a fairly good one. I was an officer aboard a small ship that sailed under the name of the New Wave Pirates. My job was mostly hands-off in the traditional sense of piracy in that I managed the monies and other plundered items the crew took in. We were a crew of rookies from South Blue, bound together rather loosely with the common idea that we would make something of ourselves while not following the rules imposed on us by decent society. I personally felt there was more money to be had in piracy than any sort of straight profession. By the time we finally arrived on the Grand Line I began to regret my career path and looked for ways to make my life as a pirate easier. It wasn't long before I began to calculate the best plans of action based on the best possible gain our crew could make in defeating a given crew or performing other sundry acts of piracy. As our wealth grew, my captain's estimation of me grew and soon I was offered the best item from the spoils of our most recent haul - an Akuma-no-Mi.

This, I thought, would surely assist my chances for survival in this line of work on the Grand Line and so I happily accepted it. Five days later, having only just learned which power it was that I had received, I was shot in the back during a battle. I am not sure to this day if it was by a combatant or whether I was a victim of friendly fire. When my crewmates learned that I was paralyzed and could move only my head they flipped a coin as to whether to dump me over the side and let me sink like the hammer I was, or to dump me on their next stop-over on whatever island we happened to land upon. I called heads and am alive today thanks only to lady luck.

Over the time Maho-san and I shared in the forest, I was able to channel my abilities to not only control my movements and to listen in from significantly far-off distances, but to weave spider-web-like structures all around to catch not only dinner, but anyone who might stumble upon our camp. In two years we saw not one single human being, until the last day of our hermitage.

One of my snares tripped in a way that seemed too clumsy to be a deer or bear. I immediately notified Maho-san via a wire she wore tucked behind her ear. "Maho-san, I believe we have company," I said dryly. "I'm coming," she replied and sprinted to our camp from her clearing.

Three large men with large guns walked heavily toward the camp. I had been sweeping the area in front of the shack with a broom of Maho-san's design and stopped slowly as if my presence in this forlorn forest were totally natural. The men were not happy. This land, didn't I know, belonged to so-and-so of such-and-such, (who I understood to be a local noble who owned half the island) and I was a vagrant and trespassing and didn't I know what happened to trespassers, etc. I feigned innocence and invited the brutes in for tea, stalling for time as I watched Maho-san creeping in from the tree-line behind them. Something about the look in her eye took my breath away. She looked, for all intents and purposes, like she was going to kill them. I thought it was a shame my actual brain wasn't wired to hers as I wanted to shout to her to assure her that I had it under control. For a moment I was afraid that she would charge and render 'control' the least useful descriptor for the situation. She closed her eyes, slowly opened them again and the murderous look was gone. I smiled, relieved, put aside the snarky comments I was going to make to the three men, and pulled the trap. Using a combination of fine, nearly invisible wires and thick, strong fibers I yanked one of them to his knees and bound his arms behind his back. The middle one flew up into the trees feet-first and the third made a mad dash and slipped out of the third trap, but Maho was on it. The trees bent in toward the man and their branches encircled him in a bear hug.

They shouted and cursed and attempted to show bravado but their voices quivered with fear of our abilities. I doubt any of them had an idea that it wasn't magic that had ensnared them. Maho-san strode out of the trees and gave me a high-five. She smiled sadly. "Guess we gotta make ourselves scarce."

I nodded. "I believe it was only a matter of time. I'm just glad we were able to accomplish as much as we did." With the men steaming and spewing insults around us, we packed up what little we owned. Maho-san made another cart, part-rickshaw part-wagon to carry the items, and we pulled it together out of the camp. We released the men, who ran as fast as their muscular legs could carry them back from where they came, spouting promises that they would return with more of their friends. Maho-san raised a hand and our little shack exploded into confetti and swirled away in the breeze. A few days later we arrived at the port town of Storm King. As we tried to decide what we would do next, there was no discussion as to whether we would part ways. Until I met Ghani Maho, I had never had a better friend in all my life.

**Next: Rose Madda**


	2. Chapter 2 Rose Madda

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Chapter Two: Rose Madda**

I can't say I was impressed by Hiruma and Maho when I met first them, but it was a busy day that day. Bin and I had sailed into, no, that's not a good word, _limped _into this big port town called Storm King after... well, after an 'incident'. We were down twenty men. Everyone was hurting. We lost another dozen who bailed on us as soon as we arrived leaving not ten in the crew, total. I think they were good enough not to drag our name through the mud as they went because almost as soon as we put up the advert, candidates started filing in.

Storm King was a place you could depend on things being orderly, even for pirates recruiting new sailors. We set up shop at a table in one of the dozens of waterside saloons and interviewed louts and braggarts for hours on end. I turned down half of them. If they didn't have an Akuma-no-Mi ability they got an immediate negative score. If they were scoundrels, weak, lascivious - negative, negative, negative. The first guy who sat down across from us was a tall, pale-green haired, thin young man with thin eyes and long fingers. He smiled a bit too much, but claimed to be skilled with bladed weapons so I let that slide. He called himself Psalm and showed us a worn wanted poster featuring an image of him wielding a knife. The name on the poster was 'Blades Runner' but he said he had ditched that name a few years ago. It bored him, he said. He hated being bored, he said, and hoped we were interesting enough to entertain him. I gave Bin a look and told Psalm that we were the Bonefish Pirates, a special brand of pirates on a mission to rid the seas of trash and evil by capturing bounty heads to fund our expedition and to terminate those who wouldn't turn a profit. This spiel turned away most of those unfit for our crew. Psalm laughed his breathy sort of chuckle and said to count him in - that it sounded like fun.

When he left, Bin and I _both _shuddered, which is saying something to see a seven-foot, four-hundred pound hulk like Bin react that way. There was something about Psalm that made your blood run a touch cold, but I shrugged this off because I needed as many strong crew members as I could get. Meeting with Hiruma and Maho was a welcome change after that.

When they approached the table I looked at them funny, I couldn't help it. Hiruma with his dirty blond hair and goofy mustache was in all beige, a sort of linen suit with a tunic top, sandals on his feet and a brown fez on his head. A fez with a tassel. Seriously. And he was so calm and smooth - he looked like some sort of religious nut! Maho had the same sort of fabric for her clothes but they were pretty much the same as they are these days, a loose and long shirt tied around the neck, sleeveless. Her hair tied back low, all those wooden bangles and those tall wooden geta shoes. Without knowing anything about them I really wondered! I never thought for a moment they were so strong.

"Greetings," Hiruma said as they walked up to our table. "We would like to inquire about the offer for work."

"Sure, pal," I said from my perch on Bin's lap. "You've come the right place, sit down." When they'd taken a seat I started our spiel. "I'm Rose Madda, captain of the Bonefish Pirates. We're on a mission to rid the seas of trash and evil by capturing bounty heads to fund our expedition and to terminate those who don't turn a profit. If you're strong enough and you don't feel the need to take advantage of innocent people, we're the crew for you. If not, there's the door," I repeated for about the 20th time that day and pointed at the entrance to the bar.

Maho's eyes lit up a bit. She turned to Hiruma and sort of stared at him as if she was trying to project her thoughts into his head. He shrugged and she turned her unblinking eyes on me. "Define 'terminate'," she demanded.

I sat up a bit taller and felt Bin shift his weight uneasily. He doesn't like it when people order me around. "Well, just as it sounds. If we attack a nefarious pirate crew, we try to capture any bounty heads we can and 'terminate' the rest."

The woman narrowed her eyes. "If you're bent on ridding the seas of evil, why do you think it's ok to kill people?"

"Good question!" I shot back, my blood ran hot. It wasn't every day someone questioned me. "We kill _evil_ people so they can't do _evil_ things to _innocent_ people, anymore."

"Doesn't that make _you _evil?"

"No. It makes me an _avenger_."

Maho pursed her lips. "Neat."

"Neat?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Yeah. That's pretty neat. Glad you don't think you're doling out 'justice'"

"Oh, no. What we do is pretty far from _just_," I affirmed. "Leave 'justice' to the kaigun, though what they do can hardly be called that, either."

Maho nodded and looked to Hiruma again. He tilted his head to the side. Maybe they did read each other's thoughts! "Ok," she said. "But I won't personally take a life, for you or for anyone."

"Interesting..." I relaxed a bit. "Then how can you be useful to me?"

"Hiruma here's got the Ito-Ito no Mi, good for defense and surveillance and I've got the Mori-Mori no mi. I'm also a good fighter." She made part of the table into a miniature sail ship for emphasis, complete with sails and rigging.

I grinned. "Neat." And just like that the Bonefish Pirates had two new Akuma-no-Mi users for a grand total of three.

.x.

We sailed from Storm King with a crew of nearly thirty which was not as many as I'd hoped, but because I was so picky in who I got, this number worked out a lot better than the forty-some-odd we'd had before. Many of the new guys had grudges against former crews that had treated them badly or had seen some pretty awful things happen to good people and wanted to help make that stop. We were all on the same page. It was a good feeling.

Once we were up and running, our mission picked back up where it left off. It always stared with a meeting of the officers. Since I had a fondness for Akuma-no-Mi users, Maho and Hiruma were made officers right away. I also chose Psalm because the crew were afraid of him and I knew that if he gave them orders they'd hop-to it out of fear. Bin would carry me to the quarterdeck of our ship, the Zephyr, and I'd spread out the latest wanted posters. Based on who we'd seen at the last stop, I'd pick a couple candidates for attack. We would discuss the enemy's known capabilities and form a plan. Hiruma turned out to be pretty good at evaluating risk when it came to who to go after and Maho seemed to know a lot about Kaigun outposts and different crew's statistics which made my plans go smoother.

After a few fairly successful attacks I pulled them into another meeting and tried to balance out their abilities. Maho wasn't any good for killing anyone, I already knew that, and her range wasn't very long, but once she got in close and connected to the enemy ship, her ability worked like gangbusters. Hiruma was great at long distance and we found that he could wrap one of his wires around some shot and connect to the enemy ship from as far away as we could shoot. Once wired in, he could tell us exactly how many men were on board and even overhear their plans! Psalm needed some work in getting the hang of leading an attack. He was great on his own, but had trouble remembering to direct our men once he got on board. He was a ruthless killer but gladly, never once disobeyed me if I said not to take any lives. My poor Bin, as I well knew, was a huge target. He was slow and massive and if not for his ability he would have been toast years ago. But now, once we got close enough, we didn't have to fuss about getting him on board the enemy ship. Maho made a thick, strong gangplank attached to both ships for him to walk across at his leisure. Once he hit their deck it was all over. They could shoot at him all they wanted, his logia Iwa-Iwa no Mi ability was impenetrable, and now I had enough strong and talented folks behind and around him that we had no fear of him being pushed into the water, not that I wasn't ready to jump in after him again.

After that meeting, the next attack went down like _clockwork_, with only one _weird _hiccup. We identified the jolly roger of our target and the crew closed in on their ship, firing a shot with Hiruma's wires attached over their stern. He reported a crew of twenty one preparing to open fire on us. Maho readied our defensive walls, a new addition to the structure of the ship which rolled out from log-like polls attached to either side of the ship. These thick, wooden walls with thin gun ports protected us from incoming fire as we drew near. Anytime they were hit, Maho repaired the damage, instantly. Once within one hundred feet, she deployed a gangplank that adhered to the enemy ship and Psalm lead a charge on board. He searched out the bounty-heads and either killed or captured them depending on my order. Hiruma and Maho lead the second charge and fought and restrained those who had been defeated.

During this attack I watched closely, as I always did, so I could critique them and tweak my plan of attack for the next time. Psalm was usually efficient, sweeping in on those we'd identified from wanted posters and doing what I instructed, but this time was different. He seemed to avoid one of the strongest bounty heads, a tall, dark green-haired man wielding a pair of masakari broadaxes. This was out of character for Psalm who seemed to live to challenge strong fighters. I watched him as he danced around the deck. He closed in on Maho and leaned in to whisper something in her ear as she fought a group of her own adversaries. Even from this distance I could see her back straighten and she turned her head in my direction and stared at him as he danced away again. This time, he darted right for the big guy with the axes. Maho made quick work of her foes, catching them up in a huge barrel she pulled up from the decking and stared at Psalm. Hiruma noticed something was wrong and shouted to Maho. They both watched as Psalm attacked the axe wielder. Psalm threw a knife past his ear as he leaped down on him from the upper deck. It looked to me like suicide and I shouted his name as he fell. One swipe from an axe and Psalm's head came clean off.

The enemy crew cheered their hero, but his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to his knees in front of Psalm's body. Hiruma made to attack and Maho barked at him to hold off. In moments, the big guy stood up. As one of his crew mates drew close to congratulate him, he turned and planted an axe in his chest. He shouted to Maho, grinned a familiar grin and all of a sudden he was fighting on our side!

I barked at them to hurry up and get it over with. With the axe user's strength and his crew's disbelief it didn't take long. Maho and Hiruma hustled three bounty heads on board, followed by the big guy.

"Just what the hell is going on?" I shouted at them. Bin stepped in front of the big guy and didn't allow him on board, but Maho touched his arm.

"It's ok," she said grimly. "That's Psalm."

"What the...?" My head spun.

"It know it seems strange, Captain," The enemy fighter said in a rough voice. "I haven't been entirely honest with you. When you asked me if I had an Akuma-no-Mi ability and I said no, that was a lie."

It didn't make any sense at the time and my brain tried like hell to figure out what was going on. "Whatever, get on board. Bin, sink it and let's get it over with."

"But...?" Bin pointed to Psalm's body.

"I know, Bin. It's ok. He's dead, anyway. Sink it, please."

Bin pouted but did as he was told. He seated me on the rail as Maho reinforced the gangplank for him. He lumbered across and bullets ricocheted off of his body, which turned grey once his stone fruit was activated. He only had to step on the enemy ship in order to end it. His ability radiated from his foot and turned everything to stone. Stepping back on the gangplank he kicked the ship and it shattered, sinking into the deep. When Bin turned back he looked to me for approval and I heaped on the praise. He picked me back up and I resumed my position on his shoulders.

Maho stared at the newcomer from a good distance with a dark look. An exhausted Hiruma worried his mustache and leaned on the rail for support. "Ok," I began, feeling more confident with Bin beneath me. "Just what the hell is going on?"

The axe user carefully pulled the twin masakari from the sash wound around his middle and laid them on the deck before me. "My name is Psalm. This is my ability. If I am killed, my soul takes my killer's life and inhabits their body. I posses the Doki-Doki no Mi, the heartbeat fruit. You may recall, Captain, that my previous wanted poster said 'Blades Runner'? This gentleman was called Ushi the Carpenter," he explained and bowed low, "but I remain your ever faithful Psalm."

It was quiet for a moment. The crew had listened in to the whole thing and a low murmur began as they took it all in. If I hadn't decided quickly it could have ruined the dynamic I had worked so hard to establish. I was not happy, but dared not show it. "Excellent!" I crowed, stifling the crew's chattering and their doubts. "Welcome back, Psalm. Glad you got an upgrade!" I noticed that Maho did not change her posture and continued to stare at Psalm. The next few outings were tense, alright, but soon we fell back into a rhythm with a new-and-improved Psalm.

.x.

A year later we had personally destroyed thirty-four pirate crews of the worst sort and made a net profit of B904,750.00, more than enough to keep the Zephyr's crew happy and our treasure chest full. We also racked up quite the reputation. We managed to stay low on the Kaigun's radar due to our targeting only pirates and since we often left no one alive to tell the tale save those we turned over, no one really knew who was wiping them out. Along the grand line, the rumor was starting to spread. I didn't care if they knew it was me or not. Hell, after what I'd been through, I'd rather no one even knew I was a pirate at all.

I was also pretty lucky I didn't have a bounty on my head, even though there were definitely people out there who were looking for me. I'd been a pirate since I was a kid, practically. Well, since I was fourteen or so, off and on. I didn't want anyone to know about me or my past because I didn't want what happened to me to ever happen again.

I grew up the youngest of ten kids in a nice family in Fishman Island. What none of my crewmates knew then was that I am a scorpionfish mermaid. They all thought I was a cripple, I suppose, which was fine. They knew my mind worked well and that's all they need to get the job done. No one needed to know the truth, and I guarded my secret closely. Until the day I turned thirty, I rode around on poor Bin's shoulders.

When I was fourteen I ran away from home and joined a group of other rebellious fishmen and mermaids who were desperate for a different life and wanted to experience all that the world had to offer, above and below the waves. Two years later we were attacked by pirates and sold into slavery at Sabaody Archipelago. I suffered torment and isolation as I was bought by a Tenryubito and kept in a small glass tank. He'd either torture me with his 'playing' or neglect me altogether and let my tank grow nearly choked with algae as if I were a pet, not a person. Luck was on my side, however, when our hero, Fisher Tiger rescued all of us from that hell. A large group of us fish-folk were together in that place. Some of us plunged immediately into the water, but I was sure I was too weak to swim all the way home yet. The rest of us and some humans stole a ship and sailed for freedom. While I was on deck, trying to heal up and enjoy the feeling of the sun on my face I heard a group of fishmen tormenting a human. This made me sick. We were all just in the same boat, _literally_, how were we any different, now? The human was very tall, very wide and dark skinned. His voice was low and he spoke in broken sentences. I watched with disapproval as they teased the big guy and it soon became clear he wasn't bright enough to verbally defend himself. He tried to fend off these guys with what appeared to be an Akuma-no-Mi ability that turned one of the bully's arms to stone. Well, that freaked them right out and one of them pushed the big guy into the water.

To this day I don't know why I dove in after him. I guess I was just really ticked off about the injustice of it all. He was a former slave just like I was, but the fishmen wouldn't have teased _me_. Plus he was simple, who picks on someone like that? Jerks, that's who. Akuma-no-Mi users really sink fast compared to other folks. I had to gun it to get to him and struggled to pull him back to the surface. Once other folks saw what I did, plenty of people, fish and human came to help me get him on board. When we pumped the water out of him he said his name was Bin and that he would do anything for me 'cause I saved him. The big guy hasn't left my side, since.

That was ten years ago, but it wasn't long before I decided that I wanted to do something more meaningful with my life. We joined crew after pirate crew, trying to find one that wasn't horrible, that wouldn't dream of selling people for profit. I must have had crummy luck, I thought, but soon I realized that most of them were scum. Five years ago we started the Bonefish Pirates and went through crew after crew of our own trying to find like-minded individuals to carry out my own brand of justice. I hoped that I could do something, anything, to help ensure that what happened to me and Bin never happened to anyone ever again.

**Next: Gerrit Van der Zee**


	3. Chapter 3 Gerrit Van der Zee

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Chapter Three: Gerrit Van der Zee**

The very first thing I remember was awaking in a strange room. I was at sea, the room rolled as a ship ought to. I wasn't alone. A blond man with a mustache dozed in the corner, seated on a chair. His arms were crossed and his head bobbed slightly as the ship moved. He wore a red tunic and tan pants with sandals. On his head he wore an odd, brown hat with a tassel. I was thirsty but didn't have to look far for water. A pitcher and glass stood on a table near my bunk. The man awoke as I ravenously drained the pitcher.

"Oh, good!" he said. "I'm quite glad to see you've come around."

He seemed nice. He smiled. I sat up. My head hurt.

"My name is Hiruma Esuke, and you are aboard the good ship, Zephyr," he said.

"I am Gerrit Van der Zee. Excuse me, sir, but, how did I get here? I couldn't have fallen into the ocean...?" I wondered and noticed that my head and shoulder throbbed in pain.

"You crash-landed on our decks last night. It gave us all quite a shock to see a massive eagle fall from the sky and an even bigger one when it changed into a young man! But I know everyone will be glad to hear you're alright. You've sustained only some bruising."

I fell back against the pillows. "That's good, I suppose." The rest of my crew were not so lucky.

With Hiruma-san's help I got up and he took me to meet the captain of the Zephyr. Once I stepped outside and my eyes adjusted to the harsh light of day I realized I was aboard a pirate ship. I tried very hard not to seem nervous, this being my first time on a pirate ship. The crew seemed lively and not a single one seemed drunk. No one was fighting, in fact, some were playing chess. Everyone greeted me, saying things like "glad you're ok, bird-boy!" as I passed. I looked up at the rigging and spied their jolly roger: a fish skeleton over crossed bones.

The captain and her first mate were at the helm plotting a course as we approached. She, like her crew, was glad to see me. Captain Rose Madda was petite, green-eyed and had a large head of reddish hair. She towered over us from atop the first mate, Bin's shoulders. Her feet were not visible in the folds of her long, black skirt and I wondered if she had any at all. Madda-sencho explained what the Bonefish Pirates did and I felt a bit more relaxed. Avenging pirates were certainly better than marauding pirates, I thought.

"So, what's your story, Gerrit? We haven't seen a ship for leagues so you must've been flying a long time."

I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I was a sailor aboard the merchant vessel, Gilder. We were making the journey from Arubasta to Palast and were attacked by a Seaking. It came up so suddenly. I was in the crow's nest at the time and saw it before anyone else did. I hardly had a chance to call out before..." I took a quick, deep breath. "And as you saw, I have an Akuma-no-Mi ability, Tori-Tori no Mi, model Washi, bird-bird fruit, model eagle, so I took flight as the Seaking _ate _our ship."

Madda-sencho raised her brows. "_Ate_ your ship?"

I used my hands to demonstrate closing jaws. "Ate it."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

"Stop callin' me that, kid."

"I'm sorry, Ma... Captain."

Madda-sencho rolled her eyes. "How old are you, Gerrit?"

"Sixteen, Captain."

"Good enough. Wanna join our crew? We could use another Akuma-no-Mi user."

"_Another_?" I had not yet met another user.

"We have a few," she said and patted Bin on the head. He grinned, gave a deep, quiet laugh and tuned his right fist to stone to show me what she meant. "Hiruma and Maho have them, too."

I looked up at Hiruma-san, who smiled with his eyes closed. "Indeed," he said.

"I suppose I don't have a choice." I bent at the waist. "Please allow me to join your crew. You will find me to be an able sailor."

Madda-sencho laughed. "You got it, kiddo!" And my life changed drastically for the third time.

.x.

The first time my life changed was only four years previous. In that time I sailed the grand line as a cabin boy, and once I became skilled, a sailor. Before then I lead a life similar to that of a pet cat or a caged bird. I was born a girl into a wealthy noble family on a small island called Roynen. All of the female members of my family were raised the same way. We were to be seen and not heard, speak only when spoken to. We learned the genteel arts of singing, playing musical instruments of our father's choosing and other dainty things. We were not taught to read or write or to understand arithmetic or science. From the moment we were born until the day we died we were expected to obey the men in our families without argument.

By the time I was ten years old I started to wonder why this was so. I wondered if our girl servants lead similar lives. Unlike us, they were clearly without a male chaperon while they performed their jobs in our home. Only once, in the security of my room, did I ever ask my mother if they were different than us. She struck me across the face and told me to do as I was told. That we were privileged and our servants were nothing more than trash and that was all there was to it. Though she did hit me and her words were harsh, I saw something in her eyes - a deep sadness that I think was sympathetic. Surely she once had the same thoughts, but being a noble woman of Roynen, did not have a choice but to look pretty, have children and never leave her father's and later husband's side.

At twelve, my father took me on a carriage ride to the port for the first time in my life. There was a young merchant of a noble family he wished me to meet, but he was of a higher class than we, so my father was forced to bring me to him. I was told to keep my eyes forward while in the carriage, but as father got out to greet the man, my eye strayed. I heard shouting to my right. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a young boy, younger than I, pull another young girl's pony tail. She shouted at him and he ran away, but she chased him. Both of them were stopped by their mother, a large fish-monger who gave the boy a swat and pulled them both into a tight hug. They all laughed and the children ran away again. The scene was so strange that I hardly remember a single thing that happened afterward. I remember father being pleased with how complacent and quiet I had been, but that was all.

My engagement to the nobleman was made and in six months we would marry, just before my 13th birthday. This was entirely normal, by the way, for noblewomen of Roynen. Seeing those children and their mother and learning that others did in fact live differently than I was forced to was to me like being able to see after a lifetime of blindness. My brain started thinking in ways it had never done before. I saw things that I hadn't noticed, like the way our servants behaved when they thought no one was looking, like how my mother would cry for hours without making a sound as she pretended to read a book. Instead of studying my music or art I listened to the conversations of my father and his friends and my brothers. I learned a lot about life, death, crime, intrigue, whatever it was they discussed I soaked up. With this knowledge I came up with a plan for my escape, knowing I could save only myself because my mother and older sisters were already in too deep to be saved.

I sneaked into the kitchen and found a broken water glass in the bin. In a box in the attic I found an old set of clothes belonging to my father's late brother who died young. I hid these in my room and waited for the next nighttime thunderstorm. When it came I dressed in the old clothes, put my long blond hair in a pony tail, sat on my bed with the broken glass wrapped in a handkerchief in my hand, and waited. The thunder clapped and I counted, noting that the storm was coming closer. Ten miles, seven... I opened one of the tall, glass French doors that looked out on the lawn. Flash, boom, three miles... Now or never. I cut my hair and stuffed it in my pants pocket, then with the same glass shard cut the side of my face, dropping blood on the floor and bed. The lightning flashed and as the thunder crashed I punched out a pane of the door glass from the outside to the inside near the door handle and sprinted over the threshold, over the lawn and down into the forest in the pitch black night. I had never run a step in my life but I practically flew as I ran and unsurprising stumbled as the lawn sloped away from the house at the edge of the wood some three hundred yards away. I landed on my back and slid down to the tree line. When I came to rest, I lay there in the dark, the rain pelting my body which was now completely soaked. My face ached from the gash I'd put in it with the idea that if I was caught, at least my beauty would be forever ruined. I laughed for a long while as I lay there, amazed that I had done it. I knew I had a long way to go, but I was sure that any life I chose to lead would be better than one lead for me.

I managed to hide in the slums of the port town for a few days. I got some help from the local children who took pity on me. I never said a word to them as I was still not used to being able to speak my own mind, but they knew that I had come from a place where I was not treated properly, even though it was beyond their wildest imaginations. Soon I heard that the police were looking for a kidnapper who had abducted a noble's daughter and I laughed again in surprise and delight. My plan worked! The scene I had created in my room lead them to believe I had been stolen in the night. The rain washed away my footprints and scent. With more confidence than I had ever had I stowed away aboard a merchant vessel and sailed from Roynen, never to return. After three days in the hold of the ship I searched for food using skills the urchin children of Roynen had taught me. I found a chest and picked the lock. Inside was a strange looking fruit. I ate the whole, disgusting thing. Luckily for me, I changed ships at the next port without anyone finding me out. I imagine the owner of the Tori-Tori no Mi would have liked to have killed me for eating his expensive fruit.

In four years I sailed on three ships, first as a cabin boy, then a sailor, gaining knowledge of the sea and sailing as a young man ought to, and continued to hide my sex from my mates. In the back of my mind, I still thought it possible that if someone found out who I was that I would be taken back to that life of living death. If I had to sail as a man for the rest of my life, that wasn't so bad, I thought. I never imagined that one day I would become a pirate.

.x.

I had sailed with the Bonefish Pirates for only three months when my life changed yet again. In those three months I learned a lot about the world of pirates from their perspective. I had always believed them to be thieves, abusers, evil-doers and criminals. This crew believed they were pursuers of personal freedom. This appealed to me, greatly. I became fast friends with Hiruma Esuke and Ghani Maho. Our captain didn't seem to have close ties with anyone other than Bin-san. Bin-san hardly spoke and it was apparent that he was quite simple. He was huge and scary-looking but also kind, and gentle. Psalm-san was the most standoffish of all the crew. He kept to himself, mostly topside, reading a book in the sunshine. I thought it funny to see someone who looked so tough and strong behaving so mildly. Maho-san was also a bit standoffish, but she listened to everything I said and would give her advice freely. She struck me as being someone who didn't worry about anything, but perhaps that was because I worried about _everything_. I relied on her very much in those first months. Hiruma-san was also very helpful, but more forward about it. He could console me without opening his mouth to speak. It was he who trained me in the ways of the Bonefish Pirates and I looked forward to every day spent at his side. He seemed fond of me as well and it troubled my heart. Would he be as kind to me if he knew the real me, I wondered. I was too afraid that I would lose his affection to tell him the truth.

He explained to me everything about the crew and how they went about the task of taking out crews with big bounties. I didn't participate in take-downs right away, but soon Madda-sencho had worked me into the plan. I would take Hiruma-san's wires and fly them out, high above the enemy ship and let them fall on it. This way, we were able to tell what the enemy was doing much sooner than before. They didn't seem to mind that I didn't know how to fight hand to hand. I would marvel at Maho-san and Psalm-san as they combated the enemy crews and wondered if I would ever be as fast and strong as they were.

.x.

A few hours after a rather smooth take-down on sunny afternoon, the crew were just beginning to celebrate. I didn't drink and was on watch up in the crow's nest. I used my eagle-eye ability to scout the horizon as my friends and crewmates cheered below me. Suddenly, I spotted something a long way off and concentrated to make it out. "Ship ahoy!" I cried.

"Kaigun?" Madda-sencho shouted back.

"No! One man vessel, five leagues at nine o'clock!"

Everyone spun to look off the bow. "Oh, sure, pull the other one!" she shouted back.

"He's got black hair, one earring, plaid pants and a blue coat. One sail with oars. White flag."

"White flag...?" The party below me went quiet. Everyone tried to see the spec that I could see as clear as day. Madda-sencho used a spyglass and found him. I couldn't hear her cursing from where I was but guessed that the profanity could peel paint. She barked commands and the party officially ended. Everyone was on guard. "Gerrit! Where'd he come from? Where's the ship?"

"No ship, Captain. It must be over the horizon."

"Nonsense! He'd have to be _nuts_ to sail six leagues in that little thing!" she shouted and some other words I won't repeat. I remained in the crow's nest for an hour and one half, watching the horizon for another ship from any direction but there was no sign of one. When the one-man craft drew close enough to be hailed, Madda-sencho shouted at him to hold his position and identify himself. Everyone was tense. One man in a little sail ship out of nowhere was not normal. I couldn't hear what he said, but soon I was told to come down.

"Here's the deal," Madda-sencho repeated for my benefit. "This guy says he's from a crew called the Essex Pirates who have a large ship just over the horizon. They want parlay with us. I don't have them on my blacklist of evil crews and I haven't heard of them before so I've decided to grant it. We're gonna follow this guy. Gerrit, please get back up there and keep an eye out until we arrive then come down. I want all my Akuma-no-Mi users with me for this."

The captain was nervous, which was unusual, but we all reassured her that we would do our best if it happened to be a trap. Soon after we set course and began following the one-man craft, the Essex Pirates' ship came into view and it changed course and sailed to meet us. I called down and reported what I saw to Madda-sencho and offered to transform and scout but she told me to stay where I was. I wanted to be more useful, but obeyed my captain.

Their ship was indeed a large one with three masts and a rather plain-looking jolly roger, the skull of which had a red triangular mark on it above the left eye socket. A crew of about fifty men was assembled on deck, but gladly, no weapons were visible. Their gun ports remained closed. A gang plank was extended and Bin-san with Madda-sencho, Psalm-san, Esuke-san, Maho-san and I stepped on board their ship. Their captain greeted us and as I looked into his eyes, I can't explain it, but I felt as though I could trust him.

Captain Essex was of normal height, strong build and had short, curly blond hair. A thick scar ran from his hairline and tapered to the top of his left eye, which I realized, matched his jolly roger. He wore black, loose-fitting trousers and tall, lace-up boots, a brown sash tied at the waist and a blue captain's jacket, open, over his bare and muscular chest. A long pole-weapon of some kind was strapped to his back. He smiled on us and welcomed us to his ship, the Liberdade. Madda-sencho wasted no time.

"You wanted Parlay, Captain Essex, you got it. What can we do for you?"

Essex was calm and his easy-going attitude put us all at ease. "I did! I believe we might be able to do something for _you_, Captain Madda. Please, let's sit and have a drink in my cabin and talk." He swept his arm to the stern in the direction of his quarters. Reluctantly, Madda-sencho agreed. It was tough to get Bin-san through the door, but we all fit comfortably inside on long window-seats that looked out on the sea. Essex closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of his desk in the center back of the room. The walls were lined with bookcases jammed full of books. His desk was neat, but appeared often used and worn. I scanned the faces of my crewmates. Hiruma-san sat to my right and gave me a comforting smile that said "I'm here, don't worry." Maho-san sat to my left and glared at Essex. Her jaw was clenched tightly. Psalm-san reclined next to Bin-san on the opposite side of the room and smirked. He passed his gaze over us all and chuckled lightly as he did so, which made me very nervous.

"Alright, Captain," Madda-sencho began, not a little annoyed. "What is it you think you have to offer us?"

Essex clapped his hands together and got straight to the point. "We would like to join forces with you."

Madda-sencho paused briefly before laughing in his face. "_Really_? Do you have any idea who we are?" she scoffed.

"You are Rose Madda and I know exactly _what _you are."

The color fell out of our captain's face. I could feel the tension snap across the room. "_We_ are..." she stared to correct him, but Essex cut her off.

"I know _what _you are and _why _you do what you do. And we, the Essex Pirates would like you _all_ to join us."

Psalm-san laughed out loud and suddenly Maho-san shot up out of her seat. This startled me enough to lean in to Hiruma-san defensively. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me close.

"Captain!" Maho-san shouted. "Don't say another word to him."

Essex did not seem bothered by her outburst, but turned his eyes on her and blinked a few times. "Am I that offensive, Ghani Maho?" he asked.

Maho-san's face turned red. "I apologize. It's not that. Just trying to protect my friends," she said quietly. "I believe that if we know too much we might not have an option out."

Madda-sencho looked like she was about to explode with anger. "What do you mean, Maho?"

"I think I know who he is and what he's offering us and if we agree, then fine, but if he tells us what we're _really_ getting ourselves into and we don't agree, I doubt we'll be allowed to leave alive. He's giving us a chance right now, but if we get any further in, there's no way out."

Bin-san growled so low his voice made the windows rattle, but Madda-sencho put her hand on his arm and calmed him. "Thank you, Maho," she drawled. "Is this the case, Captain Essex?"

Essex pursed his lips, but was not fazed by the outburst. "If you would like to talk amongst yourselves, I can let you have my office for a few minutes."

"Please," Madda-sencho replied quickly. Essex touched a hand to his forehead and ducked out through the front door. "Psalm, please check that door," she ordered, pointing to another door behind Essex's desk which Psalm revealed to be his cabin proper, and empty. Madda-sencho let out a long sigh and leaned against Bin-san's chest. "He knows all about us, doesn't he, Maho?"

"Seems that way."

"How? Who the hell is this guy?" she shouted.

Maho-san looked to Psalm-san. "You know who these guys are, too, don't you, Psalm?"

"Sure," he grinned. "This proposition sounds like a lot of fun!"

For the first time since I'd crash landed on her ship I saw tears come to my captain's eyes. "Alright damn it, enlighten me!"

With her eyes on Psalm-san, Maho-san explained "these guys aren't pirates, they're with the Kakumeigun. It only makes sense how they know all about us. I'm not sure why they're interested in our activities. Maybe it's just the crew that they're interested in."

Psalm-san nodded. "The Revolutionaries have their fingers in more pies than you'd imagine. They probably operate this crew as a pirate crew in order to gather intelligence."

Madda-sencho took a deep breath again and let it out slowly. "So if this Essex tells us that he's a revolutionary to our faces our choices are join or die, but if we choose to leave right now, we can?"

Hiruma-san loosened his grip on my shoulder and added "That is his intention. Right now, he and his crew are trying to figure out if we will say yes. They are excited that we should join them. They do not intend to kill us nor do us harm should we decide to leave now. They seem like a rather honorable crew, like our own."

Madda-sencho sat up straight and beamed at him. "Hiruma, I knew I kept you around for a reason!" She clapped her hands together as Essex had done earlier. "Ok. So. They're legit then. Real revolutionaries and they want us to join them." Madda-sencho rubbed her hands as she did when she was thinking very hard. "What do you want to do, Maho?" she said and looked to her right.

"Join them," she answered without hesitation. "This is something I need to do. No offence. And sorry about earlier. I was just afraid for you, at first. Didn't want you to get in trouble."

Madda-sencho blinked at her. "That's very kind of you, I think. Hiruma?"

"I apologize, Captain. As much as I both like and respect you, wherever Maho-san goes, I go."

Maho-san blushed. "You don't have to do that."

"It's what I want to do." He smiled at her.

"Gerrit?" The captain asked.

"Me?"

"_You_. What will you do?"

"I don't know. This is the first time I've ever had a choice. Things just sort of happen to me, mostly." I looked to Hiruma-san and he smiled encouragingly. "Wherever Hiruma-san goes, I go," I mimicked and felt my face flush.

"Psalm?"

He put his hands behind his head. "What's your decision, Captain?"

She sighed and leaned back against Bin-san. He made a sad sort of grunt. "I know. Me either," she said as if she understood him. "I don't want to see the crew broken up but I don't want to give up on what I want to do."

Psalm leaned forward. "What is it you want to do, Captain?"

"Rid the world of bad guys. I know tackling the world government would probably be as satisfying… Maybe I'm being selfish. I just don't like people telling me what to do. He asked us all to join, so he must think I'd be of help to them as well." Madda-sencho made a frustrated face. "Maho, call him back in, would you?" she asked and soon the Captain came striding back in, just as confident as he had been when he left.

"So!" he said again. "You had time to chat. Have you decided?"

"Terms," Madda-sencho asserted. "No one dies, everyone joins, the guys back on our ship, too."

We were all surprised by this. I personally had felt sure her self-interests would win out.

Essex nodded. "Everything as you say. In fact, the Bonefish Pirates will still exist, just as the Essex Pirates exist. Virtually nothing changes."

"Ah, here comes the catch. _Virtually_?"

"I would like to borrow Ghani Maho."

I watched her closely. Maho-san did not react to this statement. She stared at Essex. "I agree," she said. "Never dreamed I would get this chance, to be of help to your cause."

Madda-sencho shrugged. "What can I do about it, then? Alright, I agree. We will join forces with the Kakumeigun, Captain Essex."

He beamed a huge smile and stepped forward to shake our captain's hand. "Thank you! I promise you, you will _not_ regret it!"

.x.

In the coming weeks, we were taken to Baltigo and sworn in as officers in the Kakumeigun. It was a hard time for all of us as it meant the temporary breaking up of the crew. Some of us needed training, some sailed off on one mission, the others on another. We would all meet again from time to time, of course. We were all just part of a much bigger family, now. Though it was hard for me at times, I still have no regrets that I made the right choice in deciding to stay with Hiruma-san no matter where he went.

**Next: Bin**


	4. Chapter 4 Bin

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. – aks_

**Chapter Four: Bin**

Bin stay with Ma-chan.

Ma-chan save Bin from ocean and bad men.

One day Ma-chan walk, she walk with Bin _or_ ride on Bin. Is ok. Ma-chan stay with Bin, she promise Bin.

Bin like Ma-chan, she no think Bin stupid. Bin not stupid. Bin slow. But Bin strong! Bin protect Ma-chan. Ma-chan think for Bin.

Bin stay with Ma-chan.

Bin happy.

**Next: Essex**


	5. Chapter 5 Essex

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Chapter Five: Essex**

The first thing that anyone the Kakumeigun recruits gets to see is a waiting room and this wasn't any different for the Bonefish crew. As the one who had been assigned to recruit them, it was my job to escort them along the initiation. When their blindfolds came off they all looked for each other before taking in their surroundings, which I thought was a good sign. All of them did this, that is except Psalm, but I already knew that nothing fazed him at all. I told everyone to make themselves comfortable in the leather chairs that ringed the circular room and wait for their turn with Miss Gilda, our 'interviewer'. That's basically a nice word for interrogator. Miss Gilda was a four-foot child-like Akuma-no-Mi user who had a sort of sooth-sayer ability. She could tell if you told her a lie. Some said she could even divine the truth from false statements, like if you said that a thing we were looking for was in your boot and you knew it was in your hat, she could tell the truth behind your lie. I'm glad I didn't really get to experience her powers for very long before she excused me.

The Bonefish Pirates had a million questions, only a handful of which I could answer. Yes, they were on Baltigo. No, there would not be a test. Yes, this interview made or broke candidates for officership in the Kakumeigun. I did tell them that in the decade or so I'd been with the group I'd only heard of three people not making it on after this stage. We were pretty good at pre-screening who we selected. Yes, after this they would go meet individually with the big guy, our boss, Dragon.

Their captain asked most of the questions. After they realized I wouldn't say more, the room got quiet, then the youngest one chimed in "what sort of questions will we have to answer?" I made a face but supposed I could answer that. "Well," I said and tried to look as relaxed as I could. "All kinds of stuff from 'what color is the sky?' to 'where did you grow up?' Just answer with the truth and you'll do fine."

"The truth..." Gerrit muttered.

I got a signal from a guard stationed at the door that Miss Gilda was ready. "Ok folks, who's first?"

Ghani Maho got to her feet. "Might as well," she shrugged.

The young one looked at her with stars in her eyes. "Maho-san, you're so brave, I'm so scared!"

Maho blinked at the youth. "Just 'cause I'm brave doesn't mean I'm not afraid. Bravery is the opposite of cowardice, but both are means of dealing with fear. Cowards run away when scared, the brave run toward. That's all."

This seemed to cheer Gerrit, who nodded as Maho was shown into the room and the door clicked shut behind her. A tense ten minutes passed in silence. When the door opened again, I was seated in just the right position to see her before she came out. Her eyes glistened and her mouth was screwed up into a shaky pout. Once she stepped through the doorway, though, this expression was gone. At first I thought I was seeing things, but I was sure that Ghani Maho had been crying.

My heart leaped into my throat for a second and I wanted to find out what it was that set her off. I couldn't explain it then, but I felt the need to protect her for some reason, even though I knew she was more than capable of ripping my head off is she wanted to.

"Piece of cake," she said. "Just like he said. Just tell the truth."

This relieved some, but not all of the crew. Rose Madda fidgeted in Bin's lap. Gerrit stood up. "Before I go in, I want to tell you something." He turned to his friends. "I'm not a boy. I'm really a girl and my real name is Gretje Ivoortoren, not Gerrit Van der Zee." Only Bin, Psalm and Madda seemed to be surprised by this at all. "I'm sorry, Hiruma-san."

He looked puzzled. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I'm quite fond of you and..."

"As I am quite fond of you," he replied.

"But you like _boys_..." Gretje insisted.

Maho held her hand to her mouth and suppressed a laugh but Hiruma laughed out loud. "I realize I'm a little effeminate, but I _do_ prefer women." Gretje looked puzzled. "When you crash landed on our ship I had to examine you, so I've known all along. I decided that you must be hiding your identity for a reason and so kept your secret."

Gretje blushed, but was obviously relieved to hear him say this. "Good!" she chimed, turned and practically skipped into the interview room. When the door closed I couldn't help but laugh. Gerrit, or, Gretje was the member of the Bonefish crew we Kakumeika knew nothing about. She was young, but had no wanted poster, no history of traveling with other pirate crews before the Bonefish Pirates. To hear Hiruma mention her crash-landing on the deck made me very curious but I decided that now was not the time to pry. One of the crew had just revealed a huge secret and I wondered if there would be another coming soon. I didn't have long to wait.

Gretje emerged a few minutes later and claimed that her session was very easy. The next to volunteer to go was Hiruma, followed by Psalm who was as calm and cool as ever. I noticed that Maho kept her eyes on him whenever he moved and wondered what she knew about him. It was down to Madda and Bin. Madda tapped her fingers on her folded arms and stared at the floor. She cursed softly and to everyone's surprise suddenly pulled her skirt off and stood up.

Psalm laughed in surprise, the others gasped at her big reveal. I was amazed to see that her crew had no idea that she was not one of them. "Yeah, take a good look!" she shouted. "Cause you're not gonna see it again if I can help it!" They now knew what I knew, she was a scorpionfish mermaid. Her tail was red and black, ridged and spiky but somehow also very beautiful to look at. She stood on her fins as I've seen mermaids do, but it didn't look very comfortable at all. Bin grunted in disapproval. "It's ok, Bin," she soothed but he stood up in protest. "Ok, ok. Essex, would it be possible for us to go in together?" She gave me a look as if to say 'you don't really want to make him unhappy' and I nodded. She recovered herself and Bin happily swept her back up onto his shoulder.

When they had all been through Miss Gilda's interview I ushered them on to the next phase, their meeting with Dragon. I glanced around to all of them to make sure they were ready. They chatted a bit amongst themselves about the amazing things they'd learned about Gretje and Madda. I wondered if the crew knew what I did about Ghani Maho's dark past or if she had decided to keep it to herself. Then I remembered her face when she came through the door and decided that no, she hadn't told them, and she wasn't going to, either.

After they met with Dragon it was decided that Hiruma and Gretje, the two weakest of the officers of the Bonefish Pirates, would undergo some training to bring their fighting skills up to par and to hone their abilities. Madda and Bin selected some new crew members from our pool of soldiers and set sail once more. This time, their mission was similar to my crew's - plunder from the 'bad guys' to help support the cause and gather intel as a legitimate pirate crew secretly working for the Kakumeigun. They headed out for the New World soon after. Psalm was given a top-secret mission I knew nothing about, but I knew it must have relied on his unique ability to steal bodies. I was a little surprised that Dragon accepted him. As far as we knew, Psalm was over two hundred and fifty years old and probably much older than that. His power allowed him to live forever. I wondered if he could survive being thrown into the ocean, as whoever threw him would be his killer and would get their body snatched. Whatever the case, I was glad to not have to see him again for a long while. They guy gave me the creeps.

Maho joined my crew and we set out almost immediately on our mission. Though our normal modus operandi had not changed, we added stealing whole ships to the job. With Maho's ability we were able to attack the most prized of all ships - Kaigun supply ships. Maho learned to ride cannon shot, and flew over the waves toward the enemy ship. Leaping off the cannon ball and onto their rigging, she immobilized the vessel with a series of moves that didn't destroy it, but made it ready for us to board and take over. Then, once we had all the captives stowed away, she morphed the entire ship, totally changing its appearance. She could make it shorter or longer, taller or wider, change the color of the sails, the height and number of the masts, and of course erased all markings that indicated that it had even been a Kaigun ship. We would then sail it to a base, the prisoners would be dealt with (not my job, happily), and we would add the new ship to our fleet. The most important asset we gained were the kairouseki plates that lined the hull of these ships, allowing us to cross the calm belt with ease. In two years we collected ten ships of great quality at no major cost to us. None of the men captured were ever allowed to see the transformation and we lead them to believe that we plundered then sank the ship. As far as we could tell, the Kaigun never caught wind of this scheme.

In those two years I got to know Ghani Maho very well, but there was still so much she kept to herself. I never got the image of her face as she emerged from being interrogated out of my mind. She was relatively upbeat and sociable with our crew, but never chimed in any personal stories or anecdotes from her past the way most sailors did. Occasionally she'd talk about the Bonefish Pirates, but that was about it. When she wasn't on duty, she was usually in her cabin, which was the first of the small officer's cabin's on the starboard side below my cabin. She had a small collection of books, mostly fiction, that she read and would exchange for new ones wherever we landed. I spent a great deal of my time with her, and she soon became my first mate. When Dragon first approached me with a mission to find and recruit Maho for the Kakumeigun, I never imagined that she would have joined my crew and become so close to me.

After Gretje and Hiruma's training was done, they too joined us and I noticed that Maho seemed much more relaxed than she had ever been. I admit I was jealous of Hiruma for a while before I realized that he and the now eighteen year old eagle-fruit user were an item. I think it was that same day that it dawned on me that I was in love with Maho. I'd been in love with a couple girls in my life, though it never worked out. None of them had been revolutionary officers, none of the could be trusted to know who I was and what I did and none of them could have come with me, so there wouldn't have been much point in pursuing them.

All the stupid things I'd tried to do to get Maho to talk to me, the dumb jokes, going out of my way to make her comfortable, make her feel needed and wanted as a member of the crew, I did all these things without coming right out and admitting to myself how I felt, and once Gretje and Hiruma joined our crew, the right time to try to broach the subject with Maho would just not come. Action was needed!

.x.

On a breezy afternoon we sailed into a friendly port on a large, southern Grand-Line island called Hotpot. A half-dozen pirate ships were already moored and we encountered no problems docking ourselves. I asked Gretje and Hiruma to take first watch on board and Maho and I went into town with half the crew for some shore leave and intel gathering. The only intel I was interested in was anything and everything Maho had to say. First, we exchanged her books at a shop, then I said I'd like to get a drink and would she like to join me?

Maho didn't drink all that much, but agreed in a lazy sort of way that didn't make me feel very confident. I grasped the lapels of my jacket and tried to look casual as we walked down the street and found a tavern advertising cold drinks and live music. I got us both the house beer and we sat at a small, round table. I propped my staff up against the empty chair next to me and tried to make myself comfortable. Maho faced the bar, I faced the door and we watched people in silence for a few minutes. "Maho," I said after the beer had a chance to work a little. "Is this really what you want to be doing?"

She made a face and put her beer down. "What's that mean?"

"Are you happy with us?" I asked. 'Us', good one, Essex. Smooth.

"Course I am. Don't I seem so?" she said, unsmiling as almost always.

"Frankly, not really, and I'd really like you to _be _happy."

This got a brow to rise. "Oh?"

I took another long draught. "Yes."

I thought, this is good, I can do this! Just when my hopes were finally getting up, her face went white. Her eyes darted around the room quickly, but not fast enough. She had reacted to a group of three people who entered the bar and had just passed us. I hadn't noticed their faces as I was too busy staring at Maho at the time. They approached the bar and spoke in hushed tones with the barkeep. There was an exchange of info and they turned toward us and walked out again. One of them was huge and had wild pink hair and crazy makeup, the other two were dark haired and all three were obviously very strong. Once they had gone, Maho stopped trying to choke the life from her beer glass and swallowed hard.

"I don't feel so good. Gonna get some fresh air." I argued with her a little but she smiled at me. "You stay here. I'll be right back."

Yeah, _right_, I thought. I gripped my staff and watched her go. "Hiruma?" I asked quietly once she had left the bar. I always kept one of his wires tucked around my ear when I left the ship like this.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Send Gretje out to scout for Maho and keep me posted."

"Has something gone awry?"

"Not yet." I waited an appropriate amount of time then attempted to tail her myself. I saw Gretje fly in her eagle form over the town and soon Hiruma chirped in my ear that Maho was in an alley way about five blocks from my current location. I went into stealth mode and came upon the scene from a short but discrete distance. I watched from behind a set of garbage cans and instructed Gretje to land nearby and await orders.

Maho had transformed some of the wooden bangles she always wore into a mask and was just confronting the group for the first time. I could hear their words, and their voices echoed a bit off the buildings in a strange and unsettling way.

"I never thought I'd get the change to pay you back," she said and removed the mask.

"Ah! Maho-chan!" the man with the long mustache shouted. "Where have you been all these years? I missed you!"

"Yoiyoiyoi!" the pink haired one shouted. "We had feared the end of your very existence! But you live! A ghost, she must be!"

"Shut it, both of you," the third man with a pigeon perched on his shoulder growled. "It's been a long while, Ghani Maho."

Maho spread her legs further apart, ready for a fight. "I never wished to see you again, Lucci. But I thought if I did, it'd be a good opportunity to pay you back."

Crap, I thought. I knew that name. Rob Lucci, the World Government's number one dog, the most deadly of all the hit-men known as CP9, and Maho's former partner. "Hiruma," I whispered. "Get out here as soon as you can. Maho might need you."

"Right away," he answered.

I, of course, knew this much about Maho's past, but was aware that neither Hiruma nor Gretje did. She never mentioned it to anyone and as she stared down Lucci I wondered if the reason why wasn't as simple as I had imagined it was. I had thought she was ashamed of her past, but right then, I wasn't so sure.

"Pay me back?" Lucci drawled. "I don't remember giving you anything."

Maho's shoulders tensed. I wished more than anything that I could see her face. "How about a coma? How about this?" she said and lifted her shirt a little, revealing scars I'd never seen - long scratch-like marks on her side. "Coming back to you?"

"Oh, please," he scoffed. "If you want me to finish the job, you should just say so."

"I'd like to see you try," Maho hissed through her closed teeth and using her ability ripped some of the siding off of a building to her left, morphed it into spears and hurled them at Lucci. The other two men, who I later identified as Jyabura and Kumadori, jumped out of the way. They both shouted at Lucci to stop but did not interfere with the fight.

Lucci evaded the spears, but Maho followed through right behind them with physical attacks. For the first time since I'd known her, she used Rokushiki techniques as she fought, stepping through the air, she punched at him, but he blocked her and a wave of energy pulsed and rattled windows. A crowd of spectators, mostly pirates, began to form. Maho and Lucci went head to head for a few minutes, exchanging blows, neither one doing any damage to the other.

"I have to admit you've improved, Maho," he said condescendingly. "But you're still too weak to defeat me."

"Oh?" she asked as she faked left and brought the siding up in a wave to push him back toward her. Her fists came together and she connected with his chest. "Rokuougan!" she shouted and Lucci flew back and was buried in the side of a building. She didn't wait to see if the dust cleared but charged at the hole with wooden steaks poised to attack.

He emerged, bearing some features of his big-cat Akuma-no-Mi form and brushed the flying, sharpened steaks aside. "Well, color me impressed. Little Maho finally learned the seventh skill. How cute."

She growled and lunged at him. I was now confident that she was by no means going to reminisce about the good old days with her former co-workers. For some past injury, she wanted this guy _dead_. They fought like this for upwards of ten minutes. Maho was getting winded, but surprisingly so was Lucci. I looked to the other two CP9 members and heard Kumadori (because he seemed to have to shout everything he said) say something about how Lucci hadn't fully recovered yet. He wanted to intervene but Jyabura held his arm out in front of him and shook his head. _Of course_, I thought. CP9 got defeated by a group called the Straw Hat pirates on Enies Lobby recently. Lucci must have been recovering from wounds he got during the attack. Maybe Maho had a chance after all! And here I was crouched behind some garbage cans like a lunatic. I straightened up and watched with pride, one of a crowd of a hundred or so gathered around the spectacle.

Maho alternated between physical attacks and her Akuma-no-Mi ability so quickly it was more like she was using both at the same time. She didn't give him a break. He powered up and his body became larger, more cat-like as he realized he was too winded to keep up with her. She pulled more fuel from a neighboring building, leaving a gaping hole, exposing a shop keeper and his surprised patrons. The wood swirled together as she compressed it down into the shape of an axe-head. Judging by the amount of material used, it must have been very heavy and dense. As she pummeled Rob Lucci, she brought the thing down toward him from behind. The crowd gasped, giving away her tactic. Lucci glanced up and very suddenly reached out and grasped Maho by the neck. In the span of time it took me to take a single step he lifted her off of her feet and held her there. The wooden axe-head fell uselessly to the ground. I watched her eyes as I ran toward them. She stared at him and the hatred and anger flickered and were replaced with heartbreak. I was halfway there when Rob Lucci put his index finger through her chest.

From the corner of my eye I saw Gretje jump to her feet on a nearby rooftop. As Lucci retracted his finger, I arrived just behind him, tapped the end of my bo staff on the base of his skull and sent a wave of Armament Haki through it. Lucci gasped involuntarily and stood stock still. "Drop her," I growled. Maho's face was white and she stared at me in shock. I didn't like interrupting one-on-one fights, but she had it coming. She messed up. Maho clearly thought he wouldn't do it, and he did. Blood dripped from her toes. "Drop her!" I shouted and nudged Lucci again. The force I imbued in the staff had to have made his head pound.

Finally his fingers relaxed and Maho tumbled to the ground. "Hiruma, fix her. Gretje, get her out of here." I heard Hiruma acknowledge my command both in my ear and from somewhere in the crowd nearby. Maho flinched as his wires flew over her and darted into the wound, sewing it up and staunching the blood flow. The sound of Gretje's wings made the crowd look up as she swooped down in her eagle form, gently picked Maho up in her talons and pulled her away from the scene. I stood where I was until I saw them light on the rooftop four stories above. Maho scrambled to the edge and glared down at us. No, she glared down at _me _and in her eyes I saw concern, but it wasn't for me. She was afraid I was going to kill Lucci. I nodded slightly and she seemed to relax. All of this, from the moment Lucci grabbed her, happened in the span of about thirty seconds.

I pulled the staff away from the base of his brain and he spun around, leaped back a few paces and faced me. There were no words. He came at me with all his CP9 Rokushiki techniques and the power of a well-trained Zoan Akuma-no-Mi user, but thanks to Maho wearing him down and to my being enraged I made short work of him. I hardly had to move to avoid his attacks, and I am not a very good Observation Haki user at all. My staff connected with him three times before he fell and I had him pinned to the ground.

"Enough," I said and put my foot on his chest, cracking a few ribs for good measure. I leaned in and he seethed at me, but was unable to move a muscle. "I want to wipe you from the face of the Earth right now, but if I do, Maho will be upset with me. Why she wants to spare a piece of trash like you is beyond me. Whatever feelings she has for you are wasted on you, clearly. I tell you what," I said, whispering. "Next time I see you? Her heart will belong to me and I will have nothing holding me back." For good measure I laid on the Conqueror's Haki and left him incensed but unable to do anything about it. When I was a few paces away his buddies slowly approached him, picked him up and helped him walk away. He turned and glared at me with angry, hollow eyes. When they had gone and the crowd had dispersed, I looked up at Maho and she looked away.

"Well," I said with a sigh. "That sucks."

** Next: Ghani Maho**


	6. Chapter 6 Ghani Maho

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Chapter Six: Ghani Maho**

Always knew this day would come, but it couldn't have come at a worse time. Almost like the stars were lined up just right for something good _and _something terrible to happen at the same time. When Essex asked me to go for a drink with him I didn't really think anything of it, but then he started in with asking me if I was happy. My stomach was already flipping over the idea that he was trying to tell me something when Lucci, Jyabura and Kumadori walked in. They didn't see me, I was too far off to the side of the room and Essex was doing all the talking as I tried to drown myself in my beer.

I admit, leaving the way I did was totally unskilled and obvious, but I think part of me prayed that Essex would follow me. After Lucci perforated me, I was thankful that he had. Also, mortified. How could I have been so careless? How foolish of me to believe that there was a kernel of humanity left in Lucci at all.

Gretje swooped down and carried me away, presumably back to the ship and I grabbed one of her legs and shouted up at her that if she took me away from the scene I'd break it. She freaked out but let me drop on the rooftop and I watched Essex beat Lucci as if he were nothing. I'd never seen Essex fight like that before, a picture of efficiency and power. It was hard to watch. I wanted Essex to win, but I was afraid he'd kill Lucci. When he'd defeated him I had to look away 'cause I was afraid of what my face might look like to him. I thought I was going to be sick and the hole in my chest throbbed as shock set in. Despite Hiruma's quick patch job, I needed to get attention soon. Gretje flew me back to the ship where Hiruma sewed me up properly.

.x.

I lay still and stared at the ceiling of the medical bay aboard the Liberdade and Hiruma worked his magic, weaving his special surgical wires through my wound. Not a pleasant feeling at all, but I bore it well enough. My friend was silent for a long while as he worked. "Maho-san, I would like very much that you should apologize to Gretje for the way you treated her," he said quietly, tensely. He'd worked that statement around in his mind many times before he said it, I could tell.

"I will," I said. "And to you, too. I'm sorry, Hiruma."

He nodded but he was still angry. "Why do you care for that man?" he asked quickly. "He tried to _kill_ you, Maho-san."

I wanted to sigh but couldn't breathe very well for the hole near my heart and through my lung he was working so carefully on. "Don't know," I said. His eyes darted to mine, but I kept them on the ceiling.

"Well," he said curtly and finished up. "I do hope while you heal, you come to your senses." With that he left me there, not quiet slamming the door behind him.

I wasn't lying. I didn't know. Why'd I hold the final blow for a moment too long? Why didn't I dodge when he reached out to grab my neck? Why didn't I think he'd punch a hole in me? Did I have hope that his dead, cold eyes would somehow soften when he looked into mine?

.x.

Lucci and I came from the same island called Spartoi on the Grand Line. Spartoi was famous for being populated entirely by strong people. As soon as we could walk we were trained to fight. Children as young as seven were permitted to kill their opponents in regulated battle. We were five years old when the island was attacked by a massive and forceful enemy. It became clear that the enemy was winning so a group of us children ages five to about thirteen found a ship and headed into battle. Didn't get far before the ship was hit and started to sink. The enemy boarded us and took us to their ship. We were told they were pirates and if we wanted to live, we'd show them how strong we were and fight to the death. The two left standing would be allowed to live. When the dust cleared, Rob Lucci and I were all that remained of more than fifty children. Then, the enemy ship was taken by the Kaigun and a Marine officer captured the pirates. We were taken to Marijoa and offered a 'unique opportunity'. When we were ten we were officially accepted into Cipher Pol 9.

Lucci and I were inseparable. Not that we were friends, just always together. Being from Spartoi we were raised to put our emotions aside and concentrate on being strong above all else. Initially we both loved being in CP9. We had no problems taking lives as it was part of our culture and the World Government told us that in order to prevent things like what had happened to our home island, we should fight for Justice. Their justice.

By the time we were teenagers we'd been given Akuma-no-Mi and were trained to use them as well as Rokushiki techniques. Lucci and I were sent on missions together during this time. We dressed in formal wear and our targets never guessed that these smart looking young people would kill them in the most brutal and cold way imaginable. I started to fall in love with Lucci when I was about fifteen. I thought because we were so close, surely he felt the same.

We were given orders to perform missions alone just after my feelings started to get the better of me. After our last mission together for a long time, Lucci and I were walking back to our base. It was the middle of the night and the streets of the town were empty. We were silent, as usual. I had been brooding over our soon-to-be separation and suddenly, Lucci attacked me. I threw up a defense out of instinct and stared at him, bewildered. He had pushed me up against a wall and held me there, staring at me in the lamplight. He grinned, but not pleasantly and pressed his face against mine and kissed me, roughly. In an instant my heart went from soaring to sinking as the thing I had hoped for years came true and was ruined in the same moment. He kissed me, but there was no emotion at all in his kiss. It was like he punched me, trying to dominate me or prove he was in control. He knew how I felt about him. He just didn't care. His hands moved to touch me and I pulled the slats of a nearby bench up and slammed them towards us, batting him away. Lucci danced away and laughed at me.

"Don't you ever touch me again!" I shouted and jumped two stories up to the rooftop and ran away. The sound of his laughter faded and I wept. It would be the last time I spoke to him for a year or more and the last time I cried for more than a decade.

When we were twenty Spandam took over as director from his much more capable father, Spandine. One evening, three years later, I was walking back from dinner on Enies Lobby and passed Spandam and a Marine captain in the hall on the way to the CP9 wing. Spandam was running his mouth, as usual, but when his friend spoke it took a good deal of concentration to keep from showing my surprise. I looked up casually and stared at the captain. Spandam was telling him that he could 'hook him up' with a 'sweet gig' as an officer in Impel Down. This captain had apparently been demoted for something messy involving a death of some kind. "Don't worry, Shiru-chan," Spandam said, patting him on the back. "I'll put a word in for you."

"Impel Down," Shiru repeated. "That would work very well for me."

It was him. No mistaking it. Same guy who was supposedly a pirate who made us children of Spartoi fight each other to the death. He was a marine. Of course. The attack on Spartoi wasn't random, it was a Buster Call and for whatever reason we'd been tricked by this sadist, Shiru. And now, thirteen years later I'd killed more times that I could count for the same World Government who destroyed us.

Once I was out of earshot I ran down the hall and pounded on Rob Lucci's door. He wasn't happy to see me. I explained everything I'd learned. He never so much as flinched. From his seat he raised a brow at me. "So?" he asked.

"So?" I repeated. "You wanna go on serving those who did this to us?"

He scoffed. "Maho, we are what we are. We're killers. I personally love killing and if the World Government wishes to give me a license to do that with impunity, I will continue to do so, quite happily."

I bit my tongue. "I see," was all I said and I left his room and slowly walked to my own. Jyabura and Kaku turned the corner ahead and I winced.

"Maho-chan! My one and only!" Jyabura cooed. "I missed you at dinner!"

"Not in the mood right now, Jyabura," I said and walked around him.

Kaku tipped his hat to me. "Let the lady be, now, Jyabura," he said politely.

The two of them argued as they continued down the hall but my mind was already working out a plan.

.x.

Coincidentally, my next mission paired me with Rob Lucci on a smallish island well known for its holy shrines. There was a governor there that the World Government decided was doing things against its orders. We wore our formal attire once more, he in is coat and tie, tall top hat and Hatori, his pet pigeon perched on his shoulder, also in a tie. I wore a knee-length skirt with a large crinoline and a button-down shirt with lots of frills. My hair was done up in curls as I used to like doing it and a small, fancy hat perched on top of it. Looked more like musicians than assassins. On our way to take the governor and his sizable personal army out, we wound around the shrines up a beautiful hillside. I passed a statue of a goddess riding a dragon. She had innumerable arms, reaching out. I stopped and Lucci stopped a few paces later.

"I'm leaving," I said and said a silent prayer to whoever this woman was. Let me start over, I asked. Let me try again.

Lucci turned and cracked his knuckles. "I won't let you do that," he said simply. I thought for a moment that he might have meant something else. Something other than that he wouldn't let me shirk my duty as a member of CP9. This haunted me for many years after. When he defeated me there on the hillside, he left me for dead. He did not bring me back. He did not kill me. As I slipped into unconsciousness I desperately wanted to know why.

.x.

After Essex saved me from Lucci, I still wondered at his actions but now I had Hiruma and Gretje and Essex, people who didn't want to hurt me. People who wanted to hurt those who _had _hurt me. I lay there in the dim light from the porthole aboard the Liberdade and tears started to form in my eyes for the first time in many years. "I don't know..." I repeated.

Just then the door opened. Quickly, I closed my eyes. It was Essex of all people. "Maho?" he asked. I breathed slowly, evenly. He entered and closed the door behind him. I heard him sit heavily in the chair to my right. His staff clattered a bit as he rested it against the wall. He made himself comfortable. "I didn't kill him, Maho," he whispered. "I wanted to. Why did you stop me?" It was hard to keep pretending to be asleep. Felt like I wanted to curl up and become nothing. How could I have been so stupid? As my weary body dragged me off to sleep I fantasized that I was back in the bar with Essex and he was saying 'I'd really like you to be happy...'

.x.

When I woke it was late morning the following day. Essex was gone and Hiruma gently touched my arm. "How are you feeling this morning?" he asked with a kind smile, the tension from the night before was gone.

"Better. Thanks." He checked his handiwork and told me I should get up and walk around a little in the fresh air. My stomach growled and I agreed with him. The sun was bright and I squinted like a mole when I came out onto the deck. When I could see, I looked around for Essex and was relieved not to see him right away. Found Gretje and apologized. She was happy I was doing better. Such a sweet kid. As I was talking to her a group of swabs were cleaning the main deck below us. A news-coo dropped a paper into their midst and they crowded around it as usual. I saw Essex emerge from his cabin and descend to the main deck. He saw me, smiled and waved, but before he could come over to talk to me the men showed him the paper.

His eyes widened and he snatched it out of one of the swabs hands. I couldn't hear what he said to them, but in a few moments he took the paper, stormed back up the steps to his cabin and slammed the door behind him. I tried to rush over but pain in my chest slowed me down. Gretje supported me but I still puffed a little when I arrived at the main deck. I asked what had happened.

"Dunno. He saw the paper and went white," the swab told me. "He asked me how long I'd had it. It just arrived but it's a couple days old, I says."

Gretje frowned. "What did the paper say?" she asked.

"Somethin' about a mate o' White Beard's gonna be executed Saturday."

I put my hand to my mouth. "They're asking for war, then," I said. "Fools, damn fools."

"Why would that upset Essex-sencho?" Gretje wondered.

I didn't want to guess. I wanted to know. Gretje helped me to his cabin door. "Put Hiruma in charge, please," I asked.

"Why?" she fretted.

"Not sure yet. I'll find out." I patted her arm and she left me there and flew off to find Hiruma.

The door had definitely been slammed shut. Not wise to knock on an angry captain's door. Especially one that was already mad at _me_. Oh well. I knocked. No answer. Again. No answer. "It's Maho. I'm coming in," I said to the door and opened it.

Even with the large windows on either side of the office part of his cabin, it was dark inside and my eyes adjusted again. Essex was seated at his desk, facing me, with his head in his hands, reading the newspaper. I could see only the top of his head. The scar that started above his left eye tapered off in his parted hair. He didn't look up. I was still sore from my injuries so I seated myself on the starboard side window seat in the late morning sun and waited. I looked out the windows and listened to the creaking of the ship, the ticking of a clock on a shelf in the back of the room and the occasional page turn as Essex read on. The sun was warm and my head nodded a few times until I heard a strange sound, a soft, plip. Then another. Then an odd intake of breath. My head shot up and I stared at Essex. He was crying. Softly. Silently. His tears hit the paper. His head in his hands, fingers tense in his short, curly blond hair. He snuffed his nose several times and slowly got it together. He let out a long sigh, leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face before saying softly "Maho, I'm sorry."

My heart went into my throat. "Wha... for what?" I asked, trying not to sound terrified.

"When we interrogated you, we made you cry. I saw it."

I touched a hand to my mouth. How did he see that? I tried like hell to compose myself after Miss Gilda kept asking me those questions in that cute, innocent voice. 'How old were you when you first took a life?' I didn't know. 'How many lives have you taken?' I didn't know. I sat up straighter. "It's nothing," I began but he leaned forward again and looked on me with such a kind face.

"We ask everyone questions that no one even asks themselves. I know. I've talked to others who went through it. But when I went through it, she asked me only three questions. I never had to reveal my soul to her for her to examine. I never had to own up to my past indiscretions because I didn't have any. She asked me 'what's your name' 'where are you from' and 'how old are you' and my answer was 'I don't know'. So, I'm sorry you had to tell her all about everything you did for CP9. We obviously knew you were a member, that's why we wanted you. Who better to give us insight into their operations and lend your insane strength to the cause? But after Miss Gilda reported to Dragon he changed his mind. He took pity on your tears and decided to give you time to heal your soul before we pushed something like that on you."

"I..." I tried to speak but it was hard to control the thoughts swirling in my head. "That's... but what does this have to do with the newspaper, and..." I wanted to say, no scream, 'why are you crying?'

"Because until today I didn't have a past. Everything I'd remembered began with waking up on a ship, surrounded by Revolutionaries. No name, no home, no past. Until now." He rolled the paper up and tossed it at me. "I had a family I hated, but I had friends so close we called each other 'brother', and on Saturday, one of my brothers will be executed at Marine Ford and there's not a _damn _thing I can do about it! We're too far to reach it even if we could get through the tub current."

I stopped staring at him and scanned the headline. "Portugas D. Ace To Be Executed" it read and went on to detail his involvement with the White Beard Pirates and the likelihood of a confrontation between them and the Kaigun. Inhabitants of Marine Ford were being evacuated to Sabaody Archipelago. I stood, and mechanically crossed to his desk and picked up the denden-mushi he used to call into to Baltigo. A voice at the other end said "'In the caves all cats are grey'," the first part of one of dozens of passwords and I replied with "'In the caves, the textures coat my skin', this is Ghani Maho, I need some information on Portugas D. Ace." I glanced at Essex and he looked at me as I'd lost my mind but didn't stop me.

"What do you need to know?" the denden-mushi asked.

"Our involvement with the... event on Saturday."

"None. Observation only."

"Got anyone on Sabaody yet?"

"Negative."

"We're three days out, assign Essex and me to it."

The voice on the other end paused. "One moment." I glanced at Essex again. He had a quizzical look on his face. "Granted. Mission is ranked classified. The two of you only, don't attract attention. Report due immediately following the event."

I thanked the operator and hung up. Essex chuckled softly. "I don't know, Maho. You might make Captain yet." Even in deep despair he had such an odd way of being upbeat.

I apologized for overstepping my bounds and at the same time told him to go rest and I'd order some tea. As I left the cabin I shook my head and wondered how I had stepped up to mother-hen so easily. I got the tea and some biscuits, checked in with Hiruma and told him only a little of the story. The Captain had received some bad personal news but would be back in command soon. I effectively moved into the window seat in his office for the next three days. I wanted to cheer him somehow, but had no idea what to do, other than to be within shouting distance should he need anything.

The next day we sat together for a while. He was only half dressed and looked tired. I imagined he didn't sleep well, if at all. I decided that I would take a lesson from Hiruma and be the listener rather than the talker. This seemed to keep Essex on an even keel. He didn't offer any information about his past or his brother. Can't say I blamed him. In fact any time we came close to talking about it he changed the subject to keep from crying again. More and more I had the feeling I should _do _something, but I had no idea what other help I could possibly be. What did I know about emotions? Keeping them suppressed, I was good at that, but not much else.

.x.

With a day's sail remaining until we reached Sabaody, Essex emerged from his cabin and announced that we were going on a secret mission. He didn't know when we'd return. Using the wood stowed on board for me to wield as a weapon I made us a small, single-mast ship. The Liberdade weighed anchor near an abandoned slave-trading facility and Essex and I sailed for Sabaody. The trip was short, but seemed much longer as Essex said very little. As we approached the archipelago I got nervous and calmed myself with wondering about Essex's past. I didn't dare ask him anything personal, not wanting to upset him. He frowned and his brows were knitted tightly in worry. Just before we docked, one very simple question came to mind and I decided it would be alright to ask.

"Essex," I asked, "you said you forgot everything including your name. Do you remember it now?"

He paused and his mood lightened just a little. "Yeah," he said. "It was Sabo. Dragon gave me the name Essex after a bit of flag I'd been found with that had an 'S' with an 'X' over top of it. It was my personal symbol, like a crude sort of pirate cross-bones sort of thing." He gestured and looked to the trees and bubbles just ahead. "But I've been Essex for more than half my life. I can't go back to being Sabo, not now."

I nodded and helped dock the ship among hundreds of others. We were silent for the most part until reaching the grove where the big screens had been erected. They were dark yet, but with just three hours until the event a crowd of thousands had already gathered. Essex and I wandered into the crowd and tried to look inconspicuous. We found a spot close to the huge denden projector just as its eyes opened and the scene at Marine Ford came on. The crowd's collective voice gasped as three figures appeared on the platform. Someone shouted 'there's Ace!' and Essex whispered his name through his clenched teeth.

I had a small pad of paper and pencil to take notes for my report and also to try to look less like a pirate/revolutionary and more like a journalist. I scribbled some things down but I could hardly concentrate on the words. For a long while nothing happened. Fleet Admiral Sengoku's voice echoed through the groves.

"Ace, what is your father's name?" he asked.

Essex went white as he heard his friend's voice for the first time in ten years. "My father is White Beard!" Then the world reeled as it was told the impossible, that Ace was the son of the Pirate King, Gold Roger. The crowd at Sabaody erupted. I was surprised to see how unnerved this made everyone present. I looked to Essex and he gave me a quick glance and shook his head as if to say he had no idea that this was the case. That was it, then. The reason for risking war with White Beard was to make sure Gold Roger's bloodline was extinguished in the most public way possible. "Damn fools," I hissed. "They know how many lives will be lost when he comes..."

"They don't care," Essex said darkly. "They're more afraid of Roger's will than White Beard's wrath."

Moments later the White Beard Pirates made their entrance from the sea in coated ships and a battle unlike any I have ever seen unfolded before our eyes on the monitors. The crowd watched and cheered on the Kaigun and I wondered what would happen if White Beard were to win this battle. The monitors would probably cut out if it started to go badly. After almost an hour of intense fighting, a ship fell from the sky onto the scene and some colorful characters piled out of it. Essex shouted and pointed at a figure with a huge head, "It's Iva-san!" then whispered "Emporio Ivankof." The name was familiar and I squinted to make out the tiny shapes of his comrades. "Looks like other Impel Down prisoners with him," he noted.

Sengoku's denden-mushi was still live and quite suddenly we heard Ace shout a name at the top of his lungs. "Luffy!" he cried. Essex practically fell down.

"What?" he shouted. "Luffy! How? How the hell am I not there with you!"

"Who's that?"

"Our younger 'brother', Luffy!"

"Luffy..." I repeated. "Not Mugiwara no Luffy?"

"Yeah, I guess, I..." Essex stopped flailing and stared at me as if my head was on fire. "Mugiwara? As in Enies Lobby, Mugiwara, as in punched a Tenryubito here last week, Mugiwara?"

I nodded. "Think so,"

"Holy..." Essex rubbed his face with his hands. "Luffy..." He took a deep breath and pumped his fists in the air. "Go, Luffy!"

So much for being inconspicuous. The people around us stared for a moment but the scene was far more interesting than a couple of weirdos cheering on the 'bad' guys. More intense fighting ensued and Ace remained chained to the platform. As the attackers made advances, Sengoku got back on his denden-mushi and shouted to rally his troops. "What are you doing? Don't let a lone rookie take control of the battlefield!" he barked and stunned us by announcing "he's the son of Dragon the Revolutionary!"

Essex and I stared at each other for a beat. "Did you know that?" I asked.

"No! Did you?"

"No! This is crazy!" I scribbled in my pad again without taking my eyes from the monitors.

Someone next to us asked no one in particular "Dragon, you mean _the _Dragon?"

Essex rolled his eyes. "No, he meant the _other _Dragon." And we watched for another half an hour as the fighting grew closer to the platform.

Another wave of amazement went over the crowd and through my captain as a line of Pacifistas marched in to the scene. Apparently, they had been called to Sabaody the week prior to deal with Mugiwara no Luffy and his crew and made an impression on the locals. Essex pouted and told me briefly about Bartholomew Kuma. I scribbled in the notebook again. Suddenly all but the center of three monitors went black and the only functioning one seemed to have been stolen by a pirate called Buggy who wanted to show off at the worst time possible. Essex shouted along with the rest of the crowd but the pirate's face loomed for several minutes. It didn't do much to ease the tension in the crowd and almost as soon as he'd turned the thing back on the action we saw White Beard stabbed by one of his own men. The final monitor went dead. Essex shouted and cursed but a voice came on and said they were sorry for the inconvenience, but that it was unlikely the video feed would be restored as the fighting had knocked it out.

"Yeah, _right_!" Essex spat and folded his arms. "Sons of bitches probably don't want to show it. They're up to something, that's for sure." He twitched and fidgeted. I watched him but stayed silent. I had no idea what I could possibly do for him. What did people do in situations like these? I couldn't very well get tea and biscuits, now. I looked down at my pad and scribbled some more. Another twenty minutes dragged by. Some of the spectators left, but those of us up front stayed put in case the monitors did go back on. When the center one did, Essex took a deep breath and screamed with everyone else when Buggy's voice came over the speakers. "Not this jerk, again!" he bellowed. "Wait, what the hell happened?"

I squinted. Wind pushed the smoke away from the scene and we saw the execution platform in ruin. "He's not there..."

"There he is!" Essex cried and pointed. In the center of the screen we could see the shapes of Ace, Luffy and the former Shichibukai, Jimbei running away. He was free. Essex whooped and hollered until his voice broke. They stopped and Ace turned. Admiral Akainu faced them. "Oh no..." Essex whispered. "Oh, come on, run. _Run_, Ace! Luffy!"

The next moment it seemed as if time slowed to a crawl. The sound of the crowd and their cheers for the Admiral washed away and all I could hear or see was the scene that played out on the monitors and my captain. He screamed his brother's name and pulled at his short hair, holding his head in his hands. His tears ran down his face. His younger brother's screams were audible even from the distance from which he was filmed as he held the dead man in his arms. Essex's arms fell to his sides and he sobbed openly.

When my tears came I was shocked back to wakefulness and the presence of the crowd washed over me like a tidal wave. My little notepad and pencil had fallen to the grassy ground. I touched a trembling hand to my face and felt my wet cheeks. What were these for, I wondered? It wasn't _my _brother who had just been killed while I stood watching, helplessly. It wasn't the boy who held him who I felt anything for, either. I looked to Essex and a racking sob took me with such surprise it practically choked me. Ever since I heard the first of his tears hit the newspaper that brought his memory back to him I yearned to be able to do something to stop them. Essex was one of the most upbeat, good natured, positive, charismatic and confident men I'd ever met. To see him openly show weakness made me realize that he didn't hide his feelings away from people, like I did. He truly hurt right now and I wanted nothing more than to make that hurt stop. But after a lifetime of suppressing my own emotions, I was stuck. I stood there and watched him bawl, grieving openly for the loss of his brother, in deep pain at not being able to be there to try to help him as his younger brother had.

My eyes darted to the people around us. No one so much as looked at us. There were many people reacting to the death of the pirate Hiken-no-Ace. Women leaned into their men and they hung on to each other, supported each other. It occurred to me that if I reached out and grasped Essex's hand as these other people did, it wouldn't be odd or selfish of me at all. His eyes remained glued to the monitors but his large, calloused left hand closed around my extended right and gripped it, tightly.

We stayed standing there long after the remaining events of the Battle of the Strongest played out and the monitors went black for the last time. The crowd began to thin out, leaving some trash and thousands of footprints on the grass. I braved a look up at Essex who stared blankly at the darkened screens. I gave his hand a squeeze. "We should go," I said quietly. He nodded and slowly released my hand. We walked back to the ship in silence. Set sail in silence. Once we were a few miles from Sabaody, I made sure he was ok to man the ship himself and ducked into the cabin to report back to Baltigo. It was easy. I didn't need the little notebook. The entire thing was etched into my mind. When I'd finished, the operator relayed new instructions and my stomach turned. My body felt heavy as I stepped back up to the deck. "Captain," I said weakly. "We have new orders. They want us to find out where…"

He nodded to me solemnly, guessing what I'd say next. "Where they'll be buried?"

I pursed my lips and nodded back. "We should head back to the Liberdade and plot our course from there. We don't have enough supplies or a big enough ship to go sailing around looking for them."

"Right," he said and went back to the task of sailing our small craft back to the ship.

.x.

More than a week later we took the Liberdade crew and all and followed a course we received from headquarters that had us crossing the Red Line. When we emerged, Essex and I continued our mission as directed in our small craft and the Liberdade weighed anchor along a craggy desolate island. In only a day or so, we started to see from all angles, pirate tallships coming together, forming a line, all heading south. We ran our Jolly Roger and joined the procession. By the time we arrived on the small, green island, they had just laid Whitebeard and Ace to rest. Akagami-no-Shanks and Whitebeard leader, Marco the Phoenix descended from the top of the hill. On cue, the gathering moved slowly and steadily up, passed in front of the graves and paid their respects to the fallen.

Ace rested to the left of the man he called 'father'. Both monuments were surrounded by flowers and some of their personal items sat atop them. As we approached, I witnessed tremendous outpourings of grief from men you'd never imagine could cry like that. Essex's eyes were wet, but he didn't sob violently like he had before, perhaps partly thanks to having a week among his crew to take the sting of loss out. As we paused in front of his brother's grave he took a nice bottle of sake I knew he'd been saving for months from his coat, took a long swig from it and poured some of it out on the ground in front of him. A strong breeze blew flower petals from the many bunches of them surrounded the monuments.

"I'm sorry, Ace," Essex said quietly. "I wish I could've been there. I'm not sure what I could've done, but... I'm glad Luffy set you free, before... And I'm sure he's alive! I'll find him, Ace. I'll thank him in person for doing what I couldn't. For being there for you." Essex, the man who's brothers once called him Sabo, wept and nestled the nearly empty sake bottle in amongst the flowers in front of Ace's monument. "That's for our little brother," he said, gave a sad smile and bowed before moving on so the next man could pay his respects.

He didn't excuse himself. Didn't mention anything about having no memory of them for all these years . Didn't say that we were too far away to make it in time. Didn't blame himself for Ace's death. Didn't blame Luffy for not saving Ace's life. Essex was that sort of man. I remain very proud to be his first mate.

.x.

We untangled our small ship from the large group that was moored along the tiny island. Later, when I reported about the funeral, I refused to give up the name of the island or location of the graves and got a talking-to from the operator. When Dragon heard about it, he pardoned me. He understood why I kept it sacred.

The Liberdade was about a day's sail from where we were and I begged Essex to rest and let me handle the first leg. Finally, he consented.

"Thank you, Maho," he said and sloughed off his captain's coat.  
"It's nothing," I said, automatically.

"No, I mean_ thank you_, for setting this up and coming with me. If it weren't for you, I'm not sure what kind of dark place I'd be in right now."

"Oh..." I must have blushed because my face went hot so I looked at my toes to try to hide it. "Guess that _is_ something, then."

"Would you have done the same for Rob Lucci?"

My head snapped up and I gaped at him. "... N... No! No, I..."

Essex pursed his lips. "Why did you hesitate?"

"I didn't, I... Just a ridiculous idea. He'd never have done anything like this! Wouldn't think _twice _about a fallen comrade, let alone shed tears for one!"

"Then why do you love someone like that?"

My heart pounded in my chest. What was he getting at? Why was he tormenting me all of a sudden? Had he suddenly remembered that he had meant to berate me once I woke that morning after the attack and this event had just distracted him from doing so until now? My eyes fell to my feet. I felt myself retracting into my shell again, the walls going up, but I fought hard against it. "I felt something for him once, but he didn't..." The memory of Lucci pressing me up against a wall and stealing that kiss flashed across my mind, but I fought on. "I don't think I even know what love means," I said in a choppy voice.

"Love is a two-way street," he said. "You stand by someone, you care for them, you want to do anything and everything to make them happy. You _love_ them, and if you're lucky, they love you, too. I love you, Maho." My head shot up and I stared at him again in disbelief. His eyes were soft and a small smile arched his lips. "Am I lucky enough to have you love me back?"

I covered my mouth as the tears came again but for the first time I cried for joy. Essex folded his arms around me and pulled me toward him and I fell against his chest. He lifted my chin and begged me not to cry. I closed my eyes. His first kiss was to kiss away those tears and I knew I would never leave his side for the rest of my life.

**Next: Epilogue: Nico Robin**


	7. Chapter 7 Epilogue Nico Robin

**Dreams Deferred**

**A One Piece fanfiction by Aoikami Sarah**

_This is a story told in the first-person about a handful of original characters that will tie-in with Oda-sensei's characters. I tried to make it as canon as I could as of December 2011. If you are reading this after that, it could be that some of the events of this story will no longer make sense in the canon sense. Thus is fanfiction. - aks_

**Epilogue: Nico Robin**

I said good-bye to my new friends at Baltigo with only a few weeks to spare and began the journey back to Sabaody. Everyone wished me well and I felt a certain sadness that I hadn't felt before; not a tremendous one by any stretch of the imagination, but sadness, still. It might have been because I might never see some of the people I'd worked so closely with for the last two years ever again. Their well-wishing tugged at my heartstrings and I thanked them. But nothing could suppress the excitement I felt with the prospect of seeing my nakama again. I missed them so very much. It had been a long time.

Thanks to the secrecy of the Kakumeigun and its movements I was forced to shuttle between several different modes of conveyance from Baltigo to my destination. The last leg of the journey was carried out by a clever branch of the army, one of a small fleet of pirate ships loaded with Revolutionaries who plundered for the cause. Their captain, an enthusiastic young man called Essex greeted me as I crossed the gang plank and made me feel very welcome. He begged my pardon that they were to complete a mission between here and there and wondered would I be alright with that. I stopped short of offering to help, but assured him that it would not trouble me in the least.

The put my bag in the cabin they had appointed for me and was introduced to the other officers. The first mate, Ghani Maho I had heard about back on Baltigo when someone I was working with 'warned' me that they had employed a former CP9 member. She was short and quiet but pleasant enough, something about her eyes reminded me of my own. I didn't hold anything against her for her former place of employ. I understood she had been with the Kakumeigun for about five years already, well before the events at Enies Lobby. Hiruma Esuke reminded me a bit of our Sanji in his tall, blond lankiness, but in all other ways, not. He was well spoken, calm and reserved and I imagined he played chess rather well. His bright, cheerful partner was Gretje Van der Zee, the youngest on board at twenty years. She bowed deeply when we were introduced. Her broad smile wrinkled the large scar on her cheek.

Their ship, the Liberdade sailed to the north/north-east toward Sabaody, but also toward their target. Gretje transformed into a giant eagle and her great wings carried her hundreds of feet into the air until she looked more like a seagull in the eye of a spyglass. She flew out over the expansive ocean and toward a dot on the horizon.

"She's taking my line with her," Hiruma explained, holding his right arm out as if he were holding an invisible drink. "Once above the target, she'll let it drop."

"But I don't see anything," I wondered.

"I can spin wires and strings so thin they are invisible to the naked eye," he said. "It has taken me a while to build up the ability to stretch them so far, but if I allot the right amount of my energy to the task it works very well." He smiled proudly.

"I see, that sounds very useful."

Captain Essex watched the ship through his spyglass. "Once Hiruma's connected we'll begin the approach."

In moments the string-user's chin tilted up and he announced he was 'on-line' with the target. He began to announce the actions and discussions of the crew of the ship on the horizon. The Liberdade came about and set course for the target. As we closed in, Hiruma announced that they had realized we were coming for them and were contemplating defensive action. It was at this point that I realized we were after a Kaigun gunship. I looked around and decided they were significantly under-armed for such a move.

"Generally, they underestimate us." Essex said with a wink. "We don't fly our Jolly Roger and we look weak, so they don't bust out the big guns right away. Maho, you ready?"

"Any time," she said and stood next to one of only two canons on deck. A sailor with a torch stood by and when Essex gave the signal, lit the fuse. Maho leaped gracefully onto the barrel and when the shot exploded from it, jumped onto the ball and rode it to the target. It flew past their sails and Maho jumped onto their deck. Instantly we saw explosions and shrapnel flying through the air.

Essex watched with a proud grin. "Hiruma is telling Maho what's going on through a wire in her ear and she's causing all that," he indicated to the busy scene. "She's tearing up the decks and disarming men, the usual." Not a single canon shot was fired as the Liberdade drew close. Gretje flew down to join the fight, picking strong Marines up in her talons and depositing them in the ocean with speed and precision. Hiruma made gestures with his hands and I could see that he was tripping, tying and binding soldiers while standing right beside me. Essex twirled the pole he wore on his back in his hand and used it to vault on board and fought the Marine captain, himself. At the same time, Maho extended a large gangplank that connected the two ships permanently and the pirates swarmed the Kaigun ship. In only a few minutes the fight was over. Hardly a drop of blood was spilled and the Marines were corralled on to the deck of the Liberdade into a large, wooden pen. A dozen pirates watched this and everyone but Maho filed back on board.

"That was very impressive!" I said to Essex as he rejoined me at the rail.

"That was nothin'!" he crowed. "Now Maho's got a bit of job. It takes a ton of energy. Watch this." He motioned to the men guarding the wooden box full of Marines. They raised wooden mallets and pounded on the box making an unholy racket. It must have been deafening inside.

"Why is that noise necessary?" I shouted.

"Keeps this a secret!" he said and waved to Maho.

She nodded to Essex and raised her arms as if to conduct an orchestra. The ship creaked and groaned and warped as she worked her Akuma-no-Mi ability on it. The masts shortened by a few feet, the sails changed shape. The marks of the Kaigun disappeared and the ship took on the appearance of a sloop. Even the color of the wood changed as she manipulated every detail of the ship. When she was done, a contingent of about twenty, along with Hiruma and Gretje, filed aboard the new sloop gunship with bags over their shoulders.

"Good work, you guys. See you soon!" Essex called to them and Maho gave them both hugs as she passed them on the gang plank. Once everyone was aboard, she morphed the plank back into the Liberdade and the new sloop raised Essex's Jolly Roger and sailed off to Baltigo. Thankfully, at this point the hammering on the box full of Marines stopped.

I folded my arms and breathed a sigh of relief. "What do you intend to do with them?"

Essex grinned. "We make a little boat for them and unload them at our next stop. It's just their ship we want, obviously," he whispered and waved for me to come with him to his cabin where we could talk more freely. Ghani Maho followed.

.x.

Essex's cabin was cozy with leather upholstered window seats and a small oak desk in the center of the room. Bookcases lined the walls and an impressive number of volumes filled the shelves. Essex sat at the desk and Maho and I seated ourselves on the port-side window seat with the sun at our backs. "So that's what we do!" Essex exclaimed and put his feet up on his desk. "I apologize again for the delay. I'm sure you're eager to get back to your crew."

I watched his eyes dart quickly to Maho who nodded to him.

"I am," I said carefully.

"Please," the captain said, taking his feet down and leaning forward in his chair with his elbows on the desk. "Tell me all about them!"

Maho chuckled. "He's a big fan."

So that was it. I smiled appreciatively. Many of the Revolutionaries had said similar things to me throughout my time with them. I thought, since they were being kind enough to transport me I could regale them with a story or two of our adventures. I talked until dinner time, telling them about our trip to Skypiea. After dinner we picked back up where I left off, but before I could get into the story Essex asked "what's your captain like?"

I paused and smiled. I'd never had to describe him before and wanted to make sure I did so accurately. "Luffy is energetic, enthusiastic, optimistic, reckless and his actions are generally uninhibited by anyone or anything. He can eat more than any human being has a right to. He's defeated at least three logia-type Akuma-no-Mi users since I've been sailing with him and has fought practically until the point of death several times. Self-preservation is the furthest thing from his mind when he faces a foe. He fights to protect his friends or even for the sake of people he's only just met. His moral compass is amazingly true. I'm proud to call myself his nakama."

Essex's bottom lip trembled slightly as he grinned at me and nodded appreciatively. "Just as I expected of him," he said quietly and stood up. "Nico-san, can you keep a secret?"

Here it comes, I thought. I was a bit surprised that they were going to inform me about whatever it was I knew they had been holding back. "I'm practically an expert at it," I said and folded my hands in my lap. "You have my word."

He sat down between me and his first mate. She put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze of support. He went on to tell me the story of his life. He was the long-lost third brother to Ace and Luffy. If it weren't for the scar on his head and the earnestness of the telling, I would have thought he'd made it up. I knew that I could confirm the story with Dragon who had rescued him as the boy, then called Sabo, so I decided that I could believe him.

As night fell and Essex finished his tale, Maho got up and lighted the lamps. She poured him a bourbon and seated herself again beside him. "Captain Essex, I will keep your secret, but why tell me this if you don't wish me to tell my captain that his brother still lives?"

Essex pursed his mouth and leaned forward. "Because I want to be able to explain it to him in person. I wanted to tell one of his nakama this so that I could gauge what his reaction might be, also, in case something should happen to me before I get to see him again. It's been two years now that I've had my memory back, but he's been in hiding."

"Well, you know he'll be at Sabaody very soon."

Essex rubbed his hands together nervously. "I know! But I don't think it's the right time. If your devotion to your captain is any judge of how devoted the rest of the Straw Hats are, I'm sure your reunion will be a busy time. I don't want to take away from that."

"And," Maho added. "Though the Kaigun moved its base, there've been reports of increased activity at Sabaody. Could be messy."

"That, too. " Essex nodded and leaned back, putting his elbows on the window sill. "We'll meet one day, I'm sure of it!"

I smiled. "I look forward to that day."

.x.

Six months later we encountered a strong pirate crew that thought to try to claim our bounties. Their ship dwarfed ours and though the odds were stacked against us, we decided to fight, rather than use the Sunny-gou's Coup-de-Burst to flee the scene. The battle raged and soon two other ships approached from behind the large one attacking us. Usopp shouted the warning and we scrambled to plan a defense against a fleet. As I worked to stave off boarders I saw a strange sight. A red-haired woman appeared from beneath the waves very close to the enemy ship's hull. She tied a rope to the rudder, glanced around, made eye-contact with me and gave me a wink before ducking back beneath the waves. A flash of tail fin licked the air before the mermaid disappeared. I shouted to Usopp who stood closest to me that something was going on and in moments many of the enemy crew stopped dead in their tracks as if bound by an invisible force. Their canons were pulled back into the gun ports. Their sails suddenly shredded into thousands of pieces of paper that fluttered away in the wind.

"What in the hell is going on?" Sanji shouted.

"I don't know!" Nami replied.

"I do!" I cried and pointed to the Liberdade and her companion ship, still closing in on us. "We've got back up!" I used my ability to reach Luffy and the others and tell them to cease and desist, that these ships were friendly. We marveled at the now disabled enemy ship, its crew jerking and twitching, held in place by wires and their feet trapped in the very wood of the decks and anxiously waited for an explanation. I grinned and let a soft giggle escape in anticipation of what would come next.

"Ahoy!" Maho shouted and waved to us. "Robin! Ahoy!"

Luffy leaped back onto the Sunny-gou and scratched his head underneath his straw hat. "Robin, you know these guys?"

"I do. They transported me to Sabaody. They're _friends_."

He grinned. "Cool! Ahoy!" he shouted in reply and waved back.

The mermaid with the red hair stood on the deck of the second ship with a figurehead that had the appearance of a bearded man blowing smoke around his face. Next to her stood a large, impressive black man. I made the connection. Maho had told me a bit about their friends on our weeks-long journey to Sabaody. This was the mermaid captain Rose Madda and her first mate, Bin. As the ships came together, Maho extended a gangplank between Madda's ship and the enemy ship and Bin strolled on board. He clapped his hands together then pointed them to the sky. The decking and outer walls of the ship turned to stone and shot up over the top of the ship, covering it in a dome-like structure. Once this was done, Maho connected another gangplank from the Liberdade to the Sunny-gou, Madda and Bin joined the crew of the Liberdade. Surprisingly, their captain was nowhere in sight. Ghani Maho asked for permission to come aboard and Luffy welcomed them.

"Hello, Robin. Good to see you again!" Maho said and bowed.

"And you as well, Maho-chan. Everyone, these are my friends, the Essex Pirates." Introductions were made and Luffy thanked Maho for bringing me to them, safely.

Nami put her hands on her hips. "So you have two female captains? That's so cool!"

I wondered where Essex was, but guessed at the reason for his absence. Maho blushed. "Captain Essex is nervous. I hope he'll be out soon."

Captain Rose Madda scoffed. "I'm sicka this. He's been whinin' about this for weeks! Ever since we met up on this side of the Red Line I haven't heard the end of it. 'I can't wait to meet him!' Now he's hidin' out, makin' us all look _stupid_. Bin!" she called up to her impressive first mate. "Go get him." Bin looked anxious. "It's ok. My orders, so the onus is on me. Please."

He nodded and stomped back across the fortified gang-plank, made sufficiently sturdy for his bulk, and in moments re-emerged from the captain's quarters with Essex in front of him. We could hear Essex trying to gently talk Bin out of his task but the hulk wouldn't hear of it. As they drew closer Essex stopped resisting and adjusted the lapels of his jacket to try to appear nonchalant. He crossed the gangplank and although all eyes were on him, my eyes were on my own captain. Where Luffy had been laughing at Madda's remarks a moment ago he was silent now and stood stock still, staring at the man approaching him.

"It's been a long time, Luffy," was all Essex could manage to say. He smiled wistfully and there was a terrible silence before Luffy reacted.

"Sa... Sabo?"

Essex nodded.

Luffy's fists clenched and trembled. "You're alive…?"

"I had lost my memory," he said softly and touched his scar. "I'm sorry I wasn't... that I couldn't be there..." Tears started to form in Essex's eyes.

"Shut up!" Luffy shouted and everyone gasped, but I watched him carefully. There was _always _more to Luffy's simplicity than he let on. "I don't need your excuses…" he muttered and his smile spread across his face. "I have my brother back!"

The party we threw aboard the Thousand Sunny-gou lasted well into the following morning. When it was at last time for the Essex and Bonefish pirates to depart, we were all fast friends. Knowing what I did about their true mission as secret Revolutionaries, I knew well that these long-separated brothers' paths would cross again one day.

END

_Special thanks to Pleased as Ponchi, an author here on fanfiction dot net (look it up! ^_^) for allowing me to take inspiration from her story "Grave" – aks 12/21/2011_


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